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We met for drinks a few months ago and then schedules got tight and new jobs were started and we lost touch. Carmine found me again a few weeks ago, telling me that he wanted to see me.

So we met for drinks and talked about school and teaching and the law. We also talked about lubes and blogging and the joys of rope and electro-sex. I’m attracted to Carmine but the conversation wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t flirtatious, it just was.

He asked me back to his place so I texted Jay to make sure it was alright. It was. I knew that something might happen but I wasn’t expecting it. Carmine is sweet and self-effacing. He has a slight Boston accent that makes my pussy twinge when he says words like “car”. I couldn’t, for the life of me see him making the first move.

He did. Standing in his living room he grabs me and kisses me. He leads me to the bedroom and begins taking off my clothes. We tumbled around on the bed for awhile kissing and groping. At one point he paused, excusing himself to go to the bathroom. I posed myself so that I would look effortlessly sexy when he came back in the room. On my stomach, legs bent and crossed at the ankles with feet in the air. He came back in the room and slid on top of me, caressing my back with his body and kissing the top of my head. I felt his cock pressing against my ass and I wiggled a bit as I looked over my shoulder at him.

“You have a baseball bat next to your bed.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you afraid of intruders?”

“No, it helps me think.”

I look at him quizzically.

“It is a guy thing,” he explains, “it is phallic.”

I smirk and decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is grinding against me and kissing my shoulders. He asks me what I want and I shoot the question back at him. So, he tells me he wants to fuck me and spanks my ass. Too softly.

I tell him I want to fuck him too but he’s going to have to hit harder. He does.

So we fuck.

Yeah, I know, I always skip that part. Here, let me give you some highlights. He slides into me and his cock is thick and hard and I squeeze him. His eyes widen a bit and so do mine. He pins my hands beside my head. He squeezes my wrists hard and it hurts and I really love it. I scream, a lot. Obscenities, sacrilegious prayers, and incomprehensible things. Throughout it all, Carmine retains a placid and contemplative look on his face. I smile and he smiles back but he is already smiling. I wonder if there is some joke that I am missing. And as his cock slams me, sometimes too hard and too deep. So aggressively that I have to remind him that my cervix is there, he still smiles. I wonder if this has something to do with the baseball bat.

So, we finish and I bite my lip and steal a quick glance at him. I giggle a bit. I’m not being myself so much as an approximation of myself. It is okay, he might know this or it might be too complex for the moment or he might not even care. I ask him to explain the baseball bat again. He picks it up and shows me. He is laying on his back next to a puddle of ejaculate with a baseball bat in his hands and my naked body slung partially over his. He looks a bit like he owns the world. He holds the bat like he is expecting a pitch and moves it back and forth a bit. I duck and giggle. He explains that he’s never even played baseball on a team and he isn’t that big of a fan. It just works. He tousles my hair and asks if I want a cigarette.

I tell him that I’ve never had a cigarette after sex before. Maybe it is too much of a cliche. He gives me an incredulous look. Law students are apt to smoking and Carmine knows that when I’m having a drink, I’m prone to a cigarette or two. I tell him that I’ve probably fucked smokers before but the cigarette never came up. He tells me it can’t be beat.

We slide back into our clothes and walk out on the porch and talk about evolutionary biology and have a smoke. He isn’t lying, it is a really good cigarette. The night is hot and exceedingly Southern he tells me that he hopes that now that we’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, we can get more adventurous next time.

Oh, thats right I left out some details. I met Carmine because he likes cross dressing and taking it in the ass from girls with strap-ons. He is also perfectly capable of spanking me and pinning me to the bed while he fucks me hard. Interesting how people and their sexualities aren’t just one thing. My life and relationships would be much too boring if that were true.

The South is my adopted home but I don’t always get along with Southerners. Most of my friends here are other Northern transplants, but I know my fair share of people born and bred in the dirty dirty. Ian is one of those people. He has a mild twang in his voice, he is exceedingly polite, and he is a tall drink of water. He is also bisexual, has a very nice cock, and is one kinky bastard.

Jay and I have been fooling around with Ian lately and he has me thinking about how purely joyful and fun sex can be. See, Ian is hilarious, he likes to laugh and he likes to make his partners laugh and the fact that he may be fucking someone is immaterial to him deciding whether or not to tell a joke. In fact, he pointed out that my pussy gets extra tight when I laugh, this all might be very intentional!

The sex we have been having with Ian isn’t sensual, poetic sex. It also isn’t rough, aggressive sex. In short, it isn’t sex blogger sex. But I love laughing in bed, it is the most natural thing in the world for me. (Listeners of Bedroom Radio know that I giggle after most orgasms.) Something that falls by the wayside in erotica is just how hilarious sex is. Just by itself, inherently, it is prone to serious laughs. You have naked people, genitals, bodily fluids, and tricky maneuvering. When God is in the mood for some slapstick comedy, he peers down on everyone fucking. And smiles.

In many ways, Ian is the perfect third for Jay and I. He matches our silly and playful attitudes. I don’t have to affect some fort of sex kitten persona with him. I get to sarcastic, bold, and forthright. I ask for what I want unabashedly with no coy or seductive pretenses.

Last night when Jay filled his hand with lube and spilled most of it on the bed, we all laughed. When Ian pointed out that it looks like snot, we laugh some more. When I slip and nearly hit the floor stepping over the spot where Jay spilled the lube, we all completely lost it. And it is okay. Nothing is missing. The genitals all remain and the adventurous spirit keeps hold. I’ve never believed in the idea that a “moment” can be lost but even if that is true, a moment given over to laughter with friends hardly feels like a sacrifice.

The sweating and grunting? The screaming and whimpering? The pleasure that takes us over? They are important too, and they have their own moments. But they aren’t what make this sexy and fun - I don’t know if they are even the goal.

[Curious about that picture at the top? Well this is what happens when I hand Jay a marker and tell him that he can write on me. We later discovered that I left a stamped impression of fireworks on the bed sheets. What can I say, it was the 4th of July.]

Last night Jude and I re-hashed a conversation about a fear of mine and this morning I read a post on Polyamorously Perverse by Tom Paine that speaks to that fear. He recently committed the mortal sin (and I did too, in his comments section) of calling another sex blogger out on something inappropriate they were doing. The details of that other blogger’s life and work aren’t the point (it is just a classic story about a good writer recounting being a bad person - plenty have made a mint on it and hopefully she will too.) Tom Paine describes some important facets of poly (or any open relationship) that seem like they should be obvious but they aren’t.

The people that are being honest* with their partners and doing things correctly always stand at risk. Especially when they play with people that are single but inherently monogamous. This accounts for my conversation with Jude. I’ve told him my fear that what I have with him or might have with him has a built-in expiration date until he can find a girlfriend that he commits to. Now, there are a variety of reasons that I could never be that woman in his life (the fact that I am already in a committed relationship might not even top the list) but it leads to some uncomfortable twinges when we talk about our lives. He feels absolutely no jealousy towards Jay but does feel a bit towards the other men I speak to. And when he tells me about other women, my sense of urgency to get to him and get to be with him is increased.

Now, most of you might be thinking, “Jesus, Ellie, you have Jay and you have these other people, you are so lucky, stop complaining!” I can’t say that I even have an answer to that sentiment other than the gut feeling that I both know how lucky I am and still want to honor the challenges that our little household faces on a daily basis.

So, Tom’s thoughts on the trepidation he and C. experience about their third partner leaving them for someone monogamous is a real fear in my life right now. One that could thwart something lovely for me before it even really starts. And also a fear that has me feeling like a bad and selfish person who would begrudge a friend finding happiness. See the rub there?

Ultimately, though, this is all about honesty. I don’t think that a sex blogger has an obligation to be honest to anyone other than their romantic partners. So when I see someone that is being honest with everyone *but* their romantic partners, it rubs me the wrong way. Here is the comment I left for Tom:

Confessional writing about these sorts of “sins” isn’t productive if everyone pats you on the back and says you are a princess. In fact, it only becomes enabling. So many of us are writing sex blogs to seek the approval of other people (of course it is fashionable to say “I write this only for myself” as if that explains why one would host and promote it on the internet.) I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting that validation but one can’t admit wrong-doing without being spanked for it a bit. If you go through your life that way, you will be convinced that your actions are somehow okay.

I got blasted/warned/attacked on this blog when Jay and I started seeing each other. Even though I was being COMPLETELY honest with C (my C, not Tom’s). I didn’t feel it was fair but I also knew that my experimenting was reminding people of a lot of bad memories and feelings. While this blog isn’t exactly a public space (it is mine), I have no reason to shut out the (often helpful) perspectives of others. Even if they don’t speak to me, they likely speak to someone.

*Full disclosure: Many of my clients are married or in relationships. I have deeply complex and conflicted feelings about my place in their lives. However, one thing I will say is that this fact is why many of them would never be lovers and will always be clients. No matter how much they turn me on.

About this time last year I took a trip to New York. It was fun and I had a nice adventure but I got so busy that I never said more than this about it. A pity that I never finished that thought. To answer the riddle, Shortbus was awesome and Billy’s was not (I’ve made much better cupcakes at home). That leaves Jefferson - holy.fucking.hell. You know, you read about someone’s life - and he is a really excellent writer - and you figure it can’t be anything like what they say it is. Now, I only got a glimpse into a few hours of Jefferson’s life but it was weirdly exactly as he describes it. He actually is that fucking confident and sexy and interesting. Oh, and really brilliant in bed.

I never wrote about this before because I thought so much time had passed that it was too late to bother making the entry. But, as Jefferson mentioned in an email this morning, it is never too late. And he wrote about our fun just a few weeks ago.

I’m not going to rehash what he already described very well. In fact I’ll give you a tidbit to entice you:

Given what they had told me, I intended to focus on Brian at first. I wanted to differentiate myself from the run-of-the-mill men who were fine with letting Brian blow them if that was the price for fucking Elle. I was not one of those bisexuals, not at all. I wanted them to feel I was in this for both of them.

“Fuck,” I groaned, taking my face from Elle’s. “God, look at him. He’s devouring me.”

Elle rested a hand on my chest. “He’s so fucking hot,” she repeated, her voice raspy. Brian looked up to her eyes, gurgling his response into my cock. His drool collected on my body.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. My body was theirs.

Elle ran her hands down my torso, bringing her lips to my nipples. I twitched as the ran her tongue along my skin, her movements as soft as her boyfriend’s were urgent. I curled and bucked as she found her way to my belly.

I sat up, taking Brian’s head in my hand. “Brian, man, you’re so great. But now I need to get my dick in your girlfriend.”

Go read the rest and then come back here, okay? So, yeah, I got to experience a true New York monument. Later that afternoon, we had an awesome meal at Katz’s and I got to show Jay (Brian) Central Park.

The next morning I woke up with a souvenir that perhaps Jefferson didn’t know he was leaving. He left out the part of the story where he tortured my nipples and bit my thighs until I was screaming. I got to enjoy the sight of little purple bruises on my thighs for several weeks afterward. You can’t put a memento like that on the mantle but if sure as fuck beats a snow globe.

(And speaking of travel, if any of you live in Thailand, Malaysia, or Singapore, the Ellie and Jay bisexual fucking road show extravaganza is going to acquire some international flair this December and January!)

So, in general most of us ladies aren’t big fans of pedophiles. I feel pretty confident speaking for my gender on that one. As such, we aren’t interested in romantic partners that are pedophiles. However, I assume that when guys are talking to me, since I’m not a young girl, they aren’t pedophiles. I know that isn’t perfect logic but there are a lot of other brands of creepy that I concern myself with before worrying about a potential mate being a pedophile.

This is why I was amused, nay, concerned when I was chatting with a dude that went out of his way to tell me on 3 separate occasions that he isn’t a pedophile. It would go like this:

Ellie: Some totally normal, mundane crap that I say to people. Not regarding pedophiles.
Guy: not a pedo here, trust me.
Ellie: Um, okay good.
Guy: i was just feeling u out. there are a lot of police knowadays looking for pedophiles and the life, and trust me, i’m not one, however, i guess i’m more or less looking for a relationship with a person my age
Ellie: Right. More crap that I say.
Blah
Blah
Blah
Guy: for pedophiles and the like…………………………………………
Ellie: WTF?

Then I blocked him. I think a preoccupation with pedophiles is enough to deter me.

Last week I went on 3 first dates. The earliest of them was also a last date, the next was moderately successful, and the last of them hurts a bit to think about. Allow me to explain.

Date #1
I agreed to take a study break to meet Charlie outside my office in campus. He was a graduate student as well, although in a different department. It didn’t feel right. He was married, I wasn’t that attracted to him, I made out with him anyway. I knew I couldn’t/shouldn’t/wouldn’t do it again but lacked the spine to say so. Instead, I let him finger me, felt dirty and told him over instant messenger a few days later that I didn’t want to see him anymore.

Date #2
I had been talking to Martin online for months and months. He is in an open but not quite polyamorous marraige (I need to write down my thoughts on the differences in the future). We met for drinks, flirted, took a nice walk. He kissed me and then I kissed back. Then we kissed some more before fooling around in my car. It didn’t feel too dirty then but it does a bit now.

Date #3
Noah captivated me a few months ago. We chatted online for awhile and shared a lot of common interests. By the time we met, I had developed a serious crush on him. The sort of infatuation that is reminiscent of high school. I should have taken that reminiscence to be prophetic and guarded myself a bit - I never had much luck with romance in high school. Noah and I sat at the bar nursing single beers for over 3 hours then walked back to our cars together. I mustered the courage to grab his hand and he didn’t seem to mind. I didn’t know if I could come up with the courage to kiss him.

So, instead I told him that I wanted to be kissed. He told me to come up with the courage myself. It took a few moments of maneuvering and nuzzling to get there but I managed. It was one of the most terrifying leaps I’ve taken in awhile and I wonder now if it was the correct move.

He kissed back, passionately, moving his soft lips over my face and neck. Burying his face in my cleavage and nibbling and my skin. Hands in my hair. Lips on mine. Squeezes everywhere. Tongues dart - sighs released. Some sort of giddy high that I don’t feel often washes over me and I stop to stare in his eyes, to play with his hands, to brush his hair away from his face and drink him in.

It all felt very very mutual.

In many ways it was.

But, we won’t be doing it again.

Regret isn’t the word to describe how I feel but trepidation, anger, anxiety all spring to mind. The fear of hurting this vital, gorgeous, sensitive man keeps me in check. But the need for self-preservation keeps me at a distance.

So, I decided on an asian menu: steamed dumplings, edamame, summer rolls, a chicken and eggplant spicy stirfry over noodles, and my special ginger cosmos. As for what happened after dinner, I’m going to do something I don’t normally do and post a chat log. Feel free to ask follow-up questions as I didn’t even begin to cover it all.

[11:18] lumpesse: squeeeee!
[11:19] vinnietesla: The Chinese Menu was a success, huh?
[11:19] lumpesse: yeah yeah yeah
[11:19] lumpesse: holy crap, I have no idea how to write about this
[11:20] lumpesse: this is the reason that I haven’t written about the threesomes yet
[11:20] lumpesse: they sound like logistical impossibilities
[11:22] vinnietesla: And yet!
[11:22] lumpesse: like if I read porn that described the stuff we were doing last night, I’d be like, “bullshit, genitals don’t line up that way”
[11:22] vinnietesla: Ooh!
[11:23] vinnietesla: Wow!
[11:23] vinnietesla: Now you’re being a tease!
[11:23] lumpesse: haha
[11:23] lumpesse: okay, want the story from the top?
[11:23] lumpesse: (jay says, “I’m not sure we’d know who was the top”)
[11:24] lumpesse: So, they came over, we ate, I’m an excellent cook, blah blah blah
[11:24] lumpesse: we sit around after dinner having wine and ginger cosmos, I get pretty tipsy
[11:24] lumpesse: I think everyone is except jay who doesn’t drink
[11:25] lumpesse: we’ve been talking about sex for awhile, it gets quiet and I finally go, “so, who wants to play spin the bottle?”
[11:25] vinnietesla: Okay.
[11:25] vinnietesla: Hee!
[11:25] lumpesse: no one even says much, everyone just scoots their chairs back and jacob grabs the empty wine bottle from the bar
[11:25] lumpesse: and we all march into the bedroom, giggling
[11:26] lumpesse: I’m apparently spilling my drink during this process
[11:26] vinnietesla: You don’t recall, huh?
[11:26] lumpesse: No, I do
[11:26] lumpesse: but someone had to point out to me that I was spilling
[11:26] lumpesse: and I was all, ‘oh, so I am, oops’
[11:27] lumpesse: luckily I stopped drinking then
[11:27] vinnietesla: Okay.
[11:28] lumpesse: so spin the bottle
[11:28] lumpesse: we started with traditional rules until everyone had made out a few times
[11:28] lumpesse: (when I was a kid it was just a kiss but times they are a-changin’)
[11:29] lumpesse: then we decided to up the ante and the person that spun got to remove an article of clothing from the person they landed on while making out with them
[11:29] vinnietesla: Okay.
[11:29] lumpesse: boys making out is fun to watch, fyi
[11:29] lumpesse: anyway
[11:30] lumpesse: once everyone was naked, the game lost its utility and we all got on the bed
[11:30] lumpesse: (I don’t know how)
[11:30] lumpesse: and then fucked in a plethora of bizarre combinations for like, 2 hours
[11:30] lumpesse: that is where my narrative breaks down
[11:31] lumpesse: notable firsts included me and sylvia both being DPed for the first time
[11:31] lumpesse: me eating her out
[11:31] lumpesse: watching boys go at it
[11:31] lumpesse: jacob had never sucked cock before, etc
[11:32] vinnietesla: Oh wow!
[11:32] lumpesse: lol
[11:32] vinnietesla: That’s a nice lineup of firsts.
[11:32] lumpesse: have I actually impressed you?
[11:33] vinnietesla: You’ve done a bunch of stuff I hain’t.
[11:33] lumpesse: I like to imagine you as someone that has done everything I have a million times before.
[11:33] lumpesse: it worked so well, too
[11:33] vinnietesla: Not so hardly.
[11:33] vinnietesla: The foursome or the imaginary vinnie?
[11:33] lumpesse: the foursome
[11:34] vinnietesla: I’m curious how the DP was.
[11:34] lumpesse: the sexiest thing was probably jacob fingering me while he fucked sylvia and she was sucking jay’s cock
[11:34] lumpesse: and her and I were kissing on occasion
[11:35] lumpesse: I feel like I need a stick figure drawing to demonstrate this stuff
[11:35] lumpesse: the DP was interesting.
[11:35] lumpesse: I think that sylvia liked hers more than I liked mine
[11:35] lumpesse: I was basically over-stimulated by that time
[11:35] lumpesse: it was pretty hot, though
[11:36] lumpesse: I’d want to try it again for sure
[11:36] vinnietesla: Cool.
[11:36] vinnietesla: What size bed do you have?
[11:36] lumpesse: omg, I only have a full
[11:36] lumpesse: I can’t believe it operated
[11:37] lumpesse: someone was basically off the bed at most times in terms of doing something from the sides
[11:37] lumpesse: but still
[11:37] lumpesse: actually, right in the beginning we had basically just swapped partners and were all on the bed next to each other
[11:38] lumpesse: I think I’m just going to publish this IM convo instead of trying to write about this
[11:38] vinnietesla: I think that’s a great approach–
[11:38] lumpesse: So, ask any more questions that you have ;)
[11:38] vinnietesla: My father taught me a wonderfully dumb trick for breaking through a writing roadblock:
[11:39] vinnietesla: You just write “So what I’m trying to say is…” and go from there.
[11:39] vinnietesla: And then go back later and erase the preface.
[11:39] lumpesse: very true
[11:39] vinnietesla: Had you played with a chick before?
[11:39] lumpesse: I’d only kissed girls
[11:39] vinnietesla: Was it at all uncomfortable watching jay with another woman?
[11:40] lumpesse: no, it was hot
[11:40] lumpesse: Actually, one of the sexiest things I saw was her being DPed
[11:40] lumpesse: because I was pretty exhausted at that point and just watched
[11:41] lumpesse: Oh and after I came the first time I needed a breather
[11:41] lumpesse: so I got up and grabbed my new crop and walked around giving everyone swats with it
[11:41] lumpesse: and handed her my paddle so she could do some hitting too
[11:42] vinnietesla: Sounds like the atmosphere was largely sensual rather than BDSM-y, though.
[11:42] vinnietesla: New toys notwithstanding.
[11:42] lumpesse: yeah, definitely
[11:43] lumpesse: everyone was doing some biting and hitting but it was going in almost every direction
[11:43] lumpesse: more indicative of our collective tastes in someone rough sex than anything else
[11:44] vinnietesla: Yeah.
[11:44] lumpesse: jacob is sort of alpha male and I did find myself pretty overcome with the urge to top him a bit
[11:44] vinnietesla: How did decision-making flow–
[11:44] lumpesse: I got the crop out with his ass in mind
[11:44] vinnietesla: like, when you got DP’ed, was that your project?
[11:44] vinnietesla: Cute!
[11:44] vinnietesla: I sympathize with that impulse to top the toppy.’
[11:45] lumpesse: I think jacob brought it up - just something like “so, ellie and sylvia both have a fantasy that requires two cocks, who is up first?”
[11:45] vinnietesla: Hee!
[11:45] lumpesse: It was sylvia’s first group sex with multiple guys
[11:45] vinnietesla: In general, was there a ‘plan’ like that, or did you just all take care of yourselves.
[11:45] lumpesse: previously it had been other girls
[11:45] vinnietesla: Uh huh–
[11:45] lumpesse: everyone just sort of did stuff
[11:46] vinnietesla: It appears to be MMF week for some reason.
[11:46] lumpesse: jacob was sort of on fantasy patrol, making suggestions
[11:46] vinnietesla: Converstaions are turning that way all the time.
[11:46] lumpesse: it was really hot this time since the guys were touching each other and there was another girl
[11:46] vinnietesla: How much bisexual experience did they have?
[11:47] lumpesse: I felt a little less overwhelmed than when it was just two guys
[11:47] lumpesse: she had a lot and he had a little
[11:47] lumpesse: whereas for jay and I it is switched
[11:47] lumpesse: so that worked out well
[11:48] vinnietesla: I’m confused–
[11:48] vinnietesla: jay had been with other guys before?
[11:48] lumpesse: yeah, he had boyfriends for ages, he identified as ‘gay’ for a long time
[11:48] lumpesse: but it has been almost 10 years
[11:49] lumpesse: he was considering himself straight for awhile but since we’ve met he has revised to bisexual
[11:49] vinnietesla: I didn’t know that!
[11:49] lumpesse: now you do!
[11:49] vinnietesla: True dat.
[11:49] lumpesse: (I love your exclamation points, they let me know I’ve done well)
[11:50] vinnietesla: So do you see this staying essentially sexual, or is there potential for romantic involvement.
[11:50] vinnietesla: Why thank you.
[11:50] lumpesse: I’m really not sure.
[11:50] vinnietesla: Aren’t they impressively errect?
[11:50] lumpesse: I see it remaining as a sexual friendship for sure.
[11:51] lumpesse: I’m not even sure how romantic involvement would work for a group.
[11:51] lumpesse: I guess I’m still old fashioned in thinking of it as something that happens between pairs even if there is overlap in the pairs
[11:52] vinnietesla: well, there’s truth to that.
[11:53] lumpesse: But I could see myself becoming romantically interested in either of them or both
[11:53] vinnietesla: After all, any group involvement is composed of a set of pairs,
[11:53] lumpesse: right
[11:53] vinnietesla: when e and b and i were getting entangled for a couple weeks,
[11:53] vinnietesla: when e soured on b that was the end of that.
[11:53] vinnietesla: weakest link and all that.
[11:53] lumpesse: I can see that
[11:54] lumpesse: I’d think in our case the strong links would be in the two established couples
[11:54] lumpesse: obviously
[11:54] vinnietesla: Of course.
[11:54] lumpesse: if either of those came into jeopardy the whole thing would sour pretty badly
[11:54] vinnietesla: I had some interesting conversations on a message board with a guy in a double marriage.
[11:54] vinnietesla: He refers to his wife, his girlfriend, and his boyfriend,
[11:54] vinnietesla: You can extrapolate from there.
[11:55] lumpesse: okay, that makes sense
[11:55] lumpesse: I could conceptualize two parallel committed relationships where everyone is sort of dipping into the other track from time to time
[11:56] lumpesse: it that makes sense
[11:56] lumpesse: but for now, all I know is that they can come over for dinner whenever they want
[11:56] lumpesse: ;)
[11:59] vinnietesla: Hee!
[12:00] vinnietesla: “More dinner parties like that one please!”
[12:00] lumpesse: seriously
[12:00] vinnietesla: You’ve had a pretty eventful year or so.
[12:00] lumpesse: insanely
[12:01] lumpesse: I’ve gone from one sex partner to seven during this calendar year
[12:02] vinnietesla: As in lifetime record?
[12:02] lumpesse: right
[12:03] vinnietesla: Impressive!
[12:03] vinnietesla: I think six new partners a year was the criterion S gave me to keep my slut license current.

Several months ago Jay and I were lamenting that we can’t find another couple that is like us. Young, relatively smart and funny, into kinky sex, and in some kind of open relationship. Sure, I have a lot of friends that are in great relationships. They are probably even having excellent sex. They sure don’t talk about it as much as I do but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, they’re only having that sex with their partners.

Monogamy is an excellent decision for some people but it isn’t one that we’ve chosen. However, finding like-minded playmates and friends has proven challenging. We primarily come across middle-aged couples that are into the swinging scene. I’ve tried to get to know them and work things out but I always come away from my exchanges thinking that it would just feel awkward. I have this image of J and I showing up at a bar to meet people the age of our parents and, well, feeling like kids. That isn’t to say that I don’t have fantasies about sex with older men but at my age, someone in their late 30s is considered “older”. The couple dynamic seems to amplify the age difference for me as well. We’ve desperately wanted to meet some other people like us that we can be friends with and perhaps fool around with on occasion.

Well, we think we’ve found them.

The other day, Jay met a girl online. The girl had a boyfriend. They thought of themselves as polyamorous and desperately wanted to meet another couple their age. Is this set-up sounding familiar yet? Sylvia and Jacob seemed to be shockingly like us and Sylvia and Jay were already hitting it off. We made arrangements to get drinks together a few nights ago.

We met at one of my favorite bars, the one with the excellent jukebox. We managed to snag the comfy back room that is a converted bank vault. Before long we were all musing aloud on whether or not we could get away with closing the vault door and make use of the comfy couches. Unfortunately, I had papers to write back at home - nothing happened. But what joy at finding people like us. We could talk about kinky sex without scandalized looks or embarassment. We all had things in common music, hobbies, Jacob and I even lived in the same dorm a few years ago.

The next day a flurry of instant messages confirmed what we all had already figured out - there was a big old four way crush in the works.

So, tomorrow night Sylvia and Jacob are coming over for dinner and a wholesome game of Spin the Bottle.

What should I cook?

Seriously, I’m stumped. I need a menu for a sexy dinner party and I need it fast. Don’t let me down, dear readers.