April – Where I attended Sex 2.0 and had a fire lit under me. I started a Twitter account, got involved with FetLife, and relaunched my podcast. I finally realized that I was part of a community and felt like I belonged.

June – I spent a lot of time thinking about sex work in both text and audio forms. I also got sort of pissy and ridiculous about blogging and met Artemis Hunter for the first time.

July – I had my first freelance work published in The Naughty American and dug up some old camwhore shots. I also experienced a bit of heartbreak, but it turned out a great piece of writing if I do say so myself. I also got tied up by Artemis and finally hooked up with Carmine who had previously only been known as “cross-dressing law student“. Finally, I began publishing the Musings on Masculinity series.

September – I was named #5 on the list of the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2008 among started a bajillion other projects. We also went to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp which was a watershed event for me despite the fact that I haven’t talked about it too much. I also presented at the Fetish Fair Flea Market and got to meet Catalina and Marky for the first time.

November -  . . . soon I found more detailed words and images to express my thoughts. I captured the unique sadomasochistic relationship that Michael and I have developed as well as the experienced of being fucked by Ariel for the first time. And the sexy gave way to the mundanely profound as we found ourselves forming a type of family, broken hollondaise and all.

December – Ariel starts lending a hand with reviews and I think that the format suits this site. Jay and I also visited New York and saw tons of the friends that we met through the year. I also spent a sedate Birthday and Hanukkah at home with my new chosen family.

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When I met C in 2002 he was my destined to be my first for a lot of things. One of the fundamental pieces of our early romance was music. It was a love affair conducted via file transfer and mixtape. His excitement for me was carried with outpourings of new sounds and arrangements I’d never imagined before. I learned to use music to love and to share music as an act of devotion.

When C and I broke up, this left me in a peculiar place. Plenty of couples have a few songs that they consider “theirs” and of course those songs can, in turn, bring back either wistfulness or painful memories. The problem with my relationship with C is that music was such a big part of it (he a record label owner and club DJ and me being a radio DJ) that it wasn’t particular songs that reminded me of him or even particular artists, it was music itself.

Melody and lyric had been the language that we loved each other in and thus they were too painful to hear when I lost him. This might sound dramatic and silly but it was a reality for me. I was ruined on music for awhile. When Jay and I fell deeper in love I wanted to share it with him but painstakingly picking through my music collection was still too raw. Instead I brought an external hard-drive to his house and dumped a few gig of my library onto his computer and let him sort it out for himself. It was heartless and impersonal.

Finally, years out from my breakup with C, I am falling in love again. This time it isn’t bittersweet because Jay and I cling together, steadfast in our dedication to each other and our life together. He is my cheerleader in my new, fragile loves with Michael and Ariel. And I am, in turn, his. The greatest revelation has been that music has come back to me.

Driving home from visits to see Michael and Ariel, Jay and I found ourselves singing silly love songs at full volume. As I opened my heart to many loves, it opened to old and new melodies to express them in. Every song was about me and I’ve never been so grateful for being a trite cliche.

So, here is a mix CD that they got in the mail from me yesterday (a few tracks are missing because they weren’t on Grooveshark). It is a lot of silly love songs, inside jokes, swelling melodies, and love.

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Post tags: love, music, Non-monogamy, Sex

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“This feels amazing, darling.”

Her only response is an angelic smile and I suddenly feel grateful. Profoundly so.

I can’t say that her movements were like thrusts. We rocked together. Happy, content, clinging.

Jay’s hand is stroking my hair and forehead and Michael is behind Ariel caressing her curves and then. . . something more. As her reactions increase in intensity, I’m overcome with curiousity. I look up at Michael, trying to catch his glance but I find myself rocked by an intense thrust and lose track of my objective.

“What is he doing to you, sweet girl?”

Her lips are clamped shut and she is concentrating. When my voice breaks her reverrie she can only look at me with a look of concern and mild alarm. I wait patiently for a response but she just nods.

“Oh sweetie, please tell me what he is doing?”

My objective has just changed. I know I can ask one of the men for this piece of information but my new desire it to hear something filthy come from Ariel’s pretty lips.

Between gasps as the dildo slides into me, I keep enough composure to tease her mercilessly. Taunting her to speak.

“Is he playing with your pussy? Is he fucking you?”

By now the boys have figured out what I was up to and Michael helpfully suggests that she is speechless. I had noticed.

But, as the enormity of this moment sets in on me and as I felt my impending climax, I am suddenly happy for the silence. I cling to her harder, holding onto something about the particular, precious sliver of time and know that, despite her lack of words, she is speaking to me with grace, precision, and deep affection.

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: ariel, bisexual, foursome, jay, michael, strap-on

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Image from RopeRookie.com – Click to see the rest of the gallery.

I’ll admit it. I salivate a little when I think about rope on my body. We rope sluts are a peculiar breed within the BDSM world. Whereas many people complain and say that rope bondage takes too long, we see it as an end in itself. A brilliant exchange of energy and sensual connection.

The first time I played with rope was with Jay, neither of us really knew what we were doing but it still took my breath away. A few years later and we’re both getting better at the game. In the spirit of education we’re going to DomCon Atlanta this weekend.  We’ve both been asked to be demo bottoms for Artemis Hunter’s class on predicament bondage. I’ve bottomed for this class before and it was a ton of fun. I won’t give away any surprises, though, for those of you that plan on attending.

After the demo and day of classes, we plan to go play 1763 with some friends in Atlanta. Last time we were there was for Sex 2.0 and we’re hoping to make the most of the play space and equipment this time around. I have several hundred feet of great rope to test my skills on.

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: hogtie, rope bondage, roperookies

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Despite the plethora of experiences that I did have, I am going to start with one that I didn’t. A gangbang.

It was Sunday afternoon, laying around in the pool, that I got the idea that I wanted to have a gangbang. Just by merit of timing, the idea was already ill-fated but Jay tried to organize it for me. Needless to say, most people had pretty full dance cards and getting that many cocks to convene in one place at camp was, well, not going to happen.

But, in the spirit of better luck next time, let me tell you a bit about what I have in mind.

I want to be violated by multiple people in a way that is really quite beyond my control. I first got a taste for this during our playful threesomes with Ian. He and Jay often pin me down and tickle me and molest me. It is fun and sexy and I struggle, giggle, and moan. But what if I screamed and cried and begged them to stop? It could go either way. The reality is that I have two tall, strong men pinning me down and doing what they want to me.

I got to thinking that I really love this, the feel of my muscles straining against their power. Knowing that I can’t get away, can’t stop it from occurring. The ability to let go because there is nowhere else to go. Sure, I’m a rope slut and I like bondage of all sorts but actually being restrained by another person, unable to fight them off, is a totally different thing.

Suddenly the attention is divided. I can’t just think about the hand mauling my pussy or the teeth biting my nipples but instead have to focus on the fingers wrapped around my arm, squeezing tight enough to bruise. Or perhaps the knees pressed against my thigh, forcing my legs apart so that my unwilling wetness is revealed. And they can’t just focus on what they are doing to me, their animalism has to come out and it becomes just as much about the struggle as the sex.

The idea of multiple people making this happen for me, taking turns pinning me down and keeping my subdued while their companions touch me in every way they can imagine is an overwhelming urge. They can be faceless and nameless. I could be blindfolded or not. The details, the humans involved don’t matter. I am interested in arms and hands, mouths and cocks just as they should not be interested in me in this moment, just my sex, just what my warm and wet holes can offer them.

Fantasies like this are scary to some people. The lack of consent is alarming. There are feminists that would have some choice (or perhaps condescending) words for me. But it is mine and I own it. And I look forward, perhaps too eagerly, to the day that I can make it a reality.

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: BDSM, bondage, consensual non-consent, fantasy, group sex, Sex, takedown

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Top 100 Sexy Bloggers of 2008 – I was honored to be named #5 on this amazing list of blogs compiled by Rori. I was stunned by the remarkable company I shared on this list and if you are just getting into sex blogs, I highly suggest checking out the entire list. The top 20 bloggers are as follows:

1. Sinclair Sexsmith http://sugarbutch.net
2. Radical Vixen http://www.radicalvixen.com
3. Curvaceous Dee http://curvaceousdee.blogspot.com
4. Always Aroused Girl http://aagblog.com
5. Ellie Lumpesse www.lumpesse.com
6. Catalina http://catalinaloves.com
7. Selena Kitt http://selenakittyn.com
8-9. Wifey and Hubby http://wifeytalk.com
10. Roger http://wwww.dirtyboy2.blogspot.com
11. Essin’ Em http://essin-em.com
12. Amber Rhea http://www.beingamberrhea.com
13-14. Richard and Amy http://247richardandamy.com
15-16. MJ and MJ’s Slave http://www.aslavestruenature.blogspot.com
17. Thursday’s Child http://thursdayschildhasfartogo.blogspot.com
18. Narration by D http://narrationbyd.blogspot.com
19. Andrea Zanin http://www.sexgeek.wordpress.com
20. The Provocateur http://theprovocateur.wordpress.com

So there we were. December in Milwaukee and the car is idling and I am shaking like a leaf. She said lots of things in the intervening moments. About how I didn’t have to and she wasn’t trying to presure me. I think she needed me to express desire but all I could muster was terror.

Then she took my hand. She started slowly caressing my palm with her fingertips and nails. Rubbing my flesh in hers like a piece of clay. I was silent except for my tiny gasps for breath. I tried to focus all of the terror into my hand and let Sarah take it away, mash it in her soft fingers until it was nothing.

Best Sex Bloggers – This fabulous group blog, started by Catalina, features amazing bloggers, podcasters, and photographers with both re-posted and original material. I have been contributing regularly over there and will be editing some collaborative writing projects amongst the bloggers. The site is new and already creating a buzz, I’m so pleased to be part of it. Why should you read? You’ll learn about new bloggers, find great things to read, and you might even win fabulous sex toys in a contest. You can subscribe to the RSS feed to keep up with everything that happens there.

Live Girl Review – Some of the toy reviews that appear on this blog also appear at Live Girl Review. This blog and podcast is produced by the multi-talented Audacia Ray. I’m constantly in awe of her and was thrilled when I was allowed to contribute to this project along with many talented sex writers. Fancy the RSS feed for the blog posts and podcast?

Junkbuzzed – Back in the spring a helped launch a sex and humor blog. I started linking to it here but I never really announced my involvement officially. While I haven’t been a big part of Junkbuzzed recently, I’m trying to post there more regularly again. The editor there is The Snarling Misanthrope (known around these parts as Marc) and he is one of the most talented satire writers I have ever read much less had the opportunity to work with. My most recent post there was a humorous take on my needle play experience titled, “Suburban Ennui Leads to Needle Play.” But really, I am not the main attraction at this blog and that is a good thing. I could not pen hilarity like an advice column called “Ask a Gor Master” or an epic sex toy review that involves a vat of lube and Star Wars collectibles. If you don’t listen to me any other time in your life, listen now and subscribe to Junkbuzzed.

Of course there is no way that I need to tell you about my podcast, Bedroom Radio? You can add that feed directly to the podcatcher of your choice so it will show up on your computer and mp3 player as soon as a new episode appears. Upcoming episodes will include Always Aroused Girl, Bliss Warrior, and Regina Lynn. There are also always great little goodies like erotica readings, sexy music, or sex toy reviews. You know how I review toys right? Well, lets just say it is more of a demonstration than a mere review.

For the complete stalking experience, you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and MySpace.

The more of this I type the less of a life it seems that I have.

***

But, I actually do have a life outside of my home and it will be taking me to a few amazing kink events in the next month.

Dark Odyssey Summer Camp – In a few days, Jay and I will be leaving for Dark Odyssey Summer Camp. If you have heard of this event, you know exactly why I am so excited. If you haven’t, Viviane has been kind enough to round up the posts from previous years that she went to camp. We’ll be staying with some amazing people there and I expect to have a lot of phenomenal stories to share.

Fetish Fair Flea Market – I am thrilled that I was invited to present at this regional kink event. My presentation will be on “Kinky Phone Sex For Couples” and will involve some fun, sexy demonstrations and practice opportunities. There are some great play parties also scheduled for this event and a whole host of amazing speakers.

***

Are you still reading? Well, want to see something way hotter than what I’ve listed above? My darling, wonderful friend Thursday wrote this gorgeous fantasy about me. A snippet:

Later, she lays on top of me, pressed thigh to thigh, hip to hip. The buzzing head of the Hitachi rests between us, right on the curve of our clefts, and as we grind against each other, I have all but forgotten the presence of the men, so lost am I in the soft perfume of her skin.

[Image via Helene Black]

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: audacia ray, awards, best sex bloggers, catalina, dark odyssey, facebook, femme's guide, fetish fair flea market, junkbuzzed, live girl review, myspace, narration by d, thursday's child, top sexy bloggers, tumblr, twitter

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I turn while continuing to fasten my bra. He is sitting up in bed now, sleepy-headed. I’m looking around for a clean shirt to wear.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he explains, “I was invited to a gang bang and I wish you could come.”

I laugh.

“Plus if you had a cock, we could jerk each other off.”

I walk out of the room thinking about just how normal that conversation really was in our lives. In retrospect, I realize that I own plenty of cocks and am more than equipped to participate in a gang bang.

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: cocks, conversation, gang bang

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She covers my eyes with a pair of goggles and now the already dim hotel room is darker and red. She hold the contraption over me and it makes zapping and crackling noises. My whole body is shaking.

I was so excited to try this device and now I’m considering chickening out. My safe word is running through my mind, assisted by the fact that I am, literally, seeing red in this moment. I calm my breathing and try to listen to what Artemis is saying. When she asks me if I’m ready I say, “No!” but she touches it to my skin anyway.

Perhaps you just want to listen to the rest of what happened? It includes whimpering, screaming, whining, and judicious amounts of giggling. Lets just say that I am no longer terrified of the violet wand and am a bit of an electricity slut now.

Download the recording of me trying out the Violet Wand

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 26 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: BDSM, bondage, fear, rope, ropeplay, Sex, violet wand

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Anyone that has been following my Twitter lately knows that I’ve got a pretty serious crush on Thursday’s Child. Sure, all of us flirt on there, but this one is real. I am so lucky to have met Thursday and D and to count them as close friends. I’ve watched them go through struggles and growth over the last few months and I’ve been honored to be a friend to them. Jay and I hope to meet them very soon – plane tickets will be ordered one of these days and we will have them to ourselves.

Lately, Thursday and I have been leaving each other fun little voicemails to titillate and amuse. I’ve mostly been playful, sexy, and tried to have fun. This morning, though, I woke up and had a message from her. It had come in the middle of the night and I had a feeling it would be special. I was right. I knew I couldn’t do the sexiness of this message justice by just describing it. No, my dear audiophiles, you deserve to hear it. Grab the headphones!

Thursday’s Voicemail to Me

You back? Shaking like I was? When I first met Thursday I was instantly attracted to her, we are so similar in so many ways and she felt like the sister I never had. Except, I suppose most people don’t want to do to their sisters what I want to do to her. I have the same curiosities about her skin and her body. We have already warned the boys that they may have to sit calmly in the corner as we focus on each other. They might whine but it will be worth it.

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Phone sex, sexy audio, sexy message, thursday's child, voicemail

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The South is my adopted home but I don’t always get along with Southerners. Most of my friends here are other Northern transplants, but I know my fair share of people born and bred in the dirty dirty. Ian is one of those people. He has a mild twang in his voice, he is exceedingly polite, and he is a tall drink of water. He is also bisexual, has a very nice cock, and is one kinky bastard.

Jay and I have been fooling around with Ian lately and he has me thinking about how purely joyful and fun sex can be. See, Ian is hilarious, he likes to laugh and he likes to make his partners laugh and the fact that he may be fucking someone is immaterial to him deciding whether or not to tell a joke. In fact, he pointed out that my pussy gets extra tight when I laugh, this all might be very intentional!

The sex we have been having with Ian isn’t sensual, poetic sex. It also isn’t rough, aggressive sex. In short, it isn’t sex blogger sex. But I love laughing in bed, it is the most natural thing in the world for me. (Listeners of Bedroom Radio know that I giggle after most orgasms.) Something that falls by the wayside in erotica is just how hilarious sex is. Just by itself, inherently, it is prone to serious laughs. You have naked people, genitals, bodily fluids, and tricky maneuvering. When God is in the mood for some slapstick comedy, he peers down on everyone fucking. And smiles.

In many ways, Ian is the perfect third for Jay and I. He matches our silly and playful attitudes. I don’t have to affect some fort of sex kitten persona with him. I get to sarcastic, bold, and forthright. I ask for what I want unabashedly with no coy or seductive pretenses.

Last night when Jay filled his hand with lube and spilled most of it on the bed, we all laughed. When Ian pointed out that it looks like snot, we laugh some more. When I slip and nearly hit the floor stepping over the spot where Jay spilled the lube, we all completely lost it. And it is okay. Nothing is missing. The genitals all remain and the adventurous spirit keeps hold. I’ve never believed in the idea that a “moment” can be lost but even if that is true, a moment given over to laughter with friends hardly feels like a sacrifice.

The sweating and grunting? The screaming and whimpering? The pleasure that takes us over? They are important too, and they have their own moments. But they aren’t what make this sexy and fun – I don’t know if they are even the goal.

[Curious about that picture at the top? Well this is what happens when I hand Jay a marker and tell him that he can write on me. We later discovered that I left a stamped impression of fireworks on the bed sheets. What can I say, it was the 4th of July.]

© Ellie for Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert, 2008. | Permalink | 52 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bisexuals, fucking, humor, lube, Sex, threesome, toys

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I never wrote about this before because I thought so much time had passed that it was too late to bother making the entry. But, as Jefferson mentioned in an email this morning, it is never too late. And he wrote about our fun just a few weeks ago.

I’m not going to rehash what he already described very well. In fact I’ll give you a tidbit to entice you:

Given what they had told me, I intended to focus on Brian at first. I wanted to differentiate myself from the run-of-the-mill men who were fine with letting Brian blow them if that was the price for fucking Elle. I was not one of those bisexuals, not at all. I wanted them to feel I was in this for both of them.

“Fuck,” I groaned, taking my face from Elle’s. “God, look at him. He’s devouring me.” Elle rested a hand on my chest. “He’s so fucking hot,” she repeated, her voice raspy. Brian looked up to her eyes, gurgling his response into my cock. His drool collected on my body. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. My body was theirs. Elle ran her hands down my torso, bringing her lips to my nipples. I twitched as the ran her tongue along my skin, her movements as soft as her boyfriend’s were urgent. I curled and bucked as she found her way to my belly. I sat up, taking Brian’s head in my hand. “Brian, man, you’re so great. But now I need to get my dick in your girlfriend.”

Go read the rest and then come back here, okay? So, yeah, I got to experience a true New York monument. Later that afternoon, we had an awesome meal at Katz’s and I got to show Jay (Brian) Central Park.

The next morning I woke up with a souvenir that perhaps Jefferson didn’t know he was leaving. He left out the part of the story where he tortured my nipples and bit my thighs until I was screaming. I got to enjoy the sight of little purple bruises on my thighs for several weeks afterward. You can’t put a memento like that on the mantle but if sure as fuck beats a snow globe.

(And speaking of travel, if any of you live in Thailand, Malaysia, or Singapore, the Ellie and Jay bisexual fucking road show extravaganza is going to acquire some international flair this December and January!)

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Listen, I know that some threesomes are mortifying. And I’ve had a few that were on the awkward end of the spectrum. But it is possible to fuck your young, hip friends en masse and have fun memories of it.

Ellie’s Tips for A Successful Threesome

1. Contrary to popular belief, MMF threesomes can be fantastically fun without either of the guys being bisexual. My first threesome was a situation like this and while it takes a bit of multitasking on the part of the woman, it is doable. But, you have to talk to your partners ahead of time and figure out what people are cool with. This doesn’t have to be done in a health class “what are your limits” sort of way. Just talk dirty with people and figure out where things might go.

2. Don’t be drunk. Most of the shitty threesomes I read about are someone’s drunken idea. I will admit that I’ve had group sex while intoxicated but the idea and plan was usually there in advance. This is key. Be sober when you decide to have group sex and if you need a bit of social lubrication to get things moving, that is the time to partake, modestly.

3. Don’t expect the stars and moon. I didn’t even come during my first several group sex experiences. Especially when you are in a committed relationship, it can be hard to get there with something new going on. Personally, I don’t measure the quality of sex by orgasms so I still think that those experiences were incredibly hot. They were just different than some one-on-one sex that I’ve had. The pacing is completely different and that can throw some people off, or you can just go with it and enjoy.

4. Fuck people not experiences. I think that if you go into group sex for the sake of checking a fantasy off your list, you might be unhappy with the outcome. I spent a lot of time on shitty adult dating sites trying to find people for group sex. And they were slimy and lame. When my endeavor turned into fucking people that I want to fuck, suddenly I started having more fun. I slept with a hot grad student, a few bloggers, and several friends that I’ve always been attracted to. On a related note, fuck the people around you. You’d be surprised who is up for “swinging” when you start being honest about your proclivities with your friends.

I’d love to hear from other people with successful group sex experience. Stand up, be proud, and repeat after me “I’m young, I’m hip, and I’ve had fun while having a threesome!”

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Jay and I had a lot of fun in New York this past weekend. There were three particular things that I planned to do and accomplished:

1) Get cupcakes from Billy’s Bakery
2) See Shortbus
3) Meet Jefferson

Two of those things left me quite pleased. One of those things was dissapointing. More tomorrow, but you can toss out guesses for the moment.

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[11:18] lumpesse: squeeeee!

[11:19] vinnietesla: The Chinese Menu was a success, huh?

[11:19] lumpesse: yeah yeah yeah

[11:19] lumpesse: holy crap, I have no idea how to write about this

[11:20] lumpesse: this is the reason that I haven’t written about the threesomes yet

[11:20] lumpesse: they sound like logistical impossibilities

[11:22] vinnietesla: And yet!

[11:22] lumpesse: like if I read porn that described the stuff we were doing last night, I’d be like, “bullshit, genitals don’t line up that way”

[11:22] vinnietesla: Ooh!

[11:23] vinnietesla: Wow!

[11:23] vinnietesla: Now you’re being a tease!

[11:23] lumpesse: haha

[11:23] lumpesse: okay, want the story from the top?

[11:23] lumpesse: (jay says, “I’m not sure we’d know who was the top”)

[11:24] lumpesse: So, they came over, we ate, I’m an excellent cook, blah blah blah

[11:24] lumpesse: we sit around after dinner having wine and ginger cosmos, I get pretty tipsy

[11:24] lumpesse: I think everyone is except jay who doesn’t drink

[11:25] lumpesse: we’ve been talking about sex for awhile, it gets quiet and I finally go, “so, who wants to play spin the bottle?”

[11:25] vinnietesla: Okay.

[11:25] vinnietesla: Hee!

[11:25] lumpesse: no one even says much, everyone just scoots their chairs back and jacob grabs the empty wine bottle from the bar

[11:25] lumpesse: and we all march into the bedroom, giggling

[11:26] lumpesse: I’m apparently spilling my drink during this process

[11:26] vinnietesla: You don’t recall, huh?

[11:26] lumpesse: No, I do

[11:26] lumpesse: but someone had to point out to me that I was spilling

[11:26] lumpesse: and I was all, ‘oh, so I am, oops’

[11:27] lumpesse: luckily I stopped drinking then

[11:27] vinnietesla: Okay.

[11:28] lumpesse: so spin the bottle

[11:28] lumpesse: we started with traditional rules until everyone had made out a few times

[11:28] lumpesse: (when I was a kid it was just a kiss but times they are a-changin’)

[11:29] lumpesse: then we decided to up the ante and the person that spun got to remove an article of clothing from the person they landed on while making out with them

[11:29] vinnietesla: Okay.

[11:29] lumpesse: boys making out is fun to watch, fyi

[11:29] lumpesse: anyway

[11:30] lumpesse: once everyone was naked, the game lost its utility and we all got on the bed

[11:30] lumpesse: (I don’t know how)

[11:30] lumpesse: and then fucked in a plethora of bizarre combinations for like, 2 hours

[11:30] lumpesse: that is where my narrative breaks down

[11:31] lumpesse: notable firsts included me and sylvia both being DPed for the first time

[11:31] lumpesse: me eating her out

[11:31] lumpesse: watching boys go at it

[11:31] lumpesse: jacob had never sucked cock before, etc

[11:32] vinnietesla: Oh wow!

[11:32] lumpesse: lol

[11:32] vinnietesla: That’s a nice lineup of firsts.

[11:32] lumpesse: have I actually impressed you?

[11:33] vinnietesla: You’ve done a bunch of stuff I hain’t.

[11:33] lumpesse: I like to imagine you as someone that has done everything I have a million times before.

[11:33] lumpesse: it worked so well, too

[11:33] vinnietesla: Not so hardly.

[11:33] vinnietesla: The foursome or the imaginary vinnie?

[11:33] lumpesse: the foursome

[11:34] vinnietesla: I’m curious how the DP was.

[11:34] lumpesse: the sexiest thing was probably jacob fingering me while he fucked sylvia and she was sucking jay’s cock

[11:34] lumpesse: and her and I were kissing on occasion

[11:35] lumpesse: I feel like I need a stick figure drawing to demonstrate this stuff

[11:35] lumpesse: the DP was interesting.

[11:35] lumpesse: I think that sylvia liked hers more than I liked mine

[11:35] lumpesse: I was basically over-stimulated by that time

[11:35] lumpesse: it was pretty hot, though

[11:36] lumpesse: I’d want to try it again for sure

[11:36] vinnietesla: Cool.

[11:36] vinnietesla: What size bed do you have?

[11:36] lumpesse: omg, I only have a full

[11:36] lumpesse: I can’t believe it operated

[11:37] lumpesse: someone was basically off the bed at most times in terms of doing something from the sides

[11:37] lumpesse: but still

[11:37] lumpesse: actually, right in the beginning we had basically just swapped partners and were all on the bed next to each other

[11:38] lumpesse: I think I’m just going to publish this IM convo instead of trying to write about this

[11:38] vinnietesla: I think that’s a great approach—

[11:38] lumpesse: So, ask any more questions that you have ;)

[11:38] vinnietesla: My father taught me a wonderfully dumb trick for breaking through a writing roadblock:

[11:39] vinnietesla: You just write “So what I’m trying to say is…” and go from there.

[11:39] vinnietesla: And then go back later and erase the preface.

[11:39] lumpesse: very true

[11:39] vinnietesla: Had you played with a chick before?

[11:39] lumpesse: I’d only kissed girls

[11:39] vinnietesla: Was it at all uncomfortable watching jay with another woman?

[11:40] lumpesse: no, it was hot

[11:40] lumpesse: Actually, one of the sexiest things I saw was her being DPed

[11:40] lumpesse: because I was pretty exhausted at that point and just watched

[11:41] lumpesse: Oh and after I came the first time I needed a breather

[11:41] lumpesse: so I got up and grabbed my new crop and walked around giving everyone swats with it

[11:41] lumpesse: and handed her my paddle so she could do some hitting too

[11:42] vinnietesla: Sounds like the atmosphere was largely sensual rather than BDSM-y, though.

[11:42] vinnietesla: New toys notwithstanding.

[11:42] lumpesse: yeah, definitely

[11:43] lumpesse: everyone was doing some biting and hitting but it was going in almost every direction

[11:43] lumpesse: more indicative of our collective tastes in someone rough sex than anything else

[11:44] vinnietesla: Yeah.

[11:44] lumpesse: jacob is sort of alpha male and I did find myself pretty overcome with the urge to top him a bit

[11:44] vinnietesla: How did decision-making flow—

[11:44] lumpesse: I got the crop out with his ass in mind

[11:44] vinnietesla: like, when you got DP’ed, was that your project?

[11:44] vinnietesla: Cute!

[11:44] vinnietesla: I sympathize with that impulse to top the toppy.’

[11:45] lumpesse: I think jacob brought it up – just something like “so, ellie and sylvia both have a fantasy that requires two cocks, who is up first?”

[11:45] vinnietesla: Hee!

[11:45] lumpesse: It was sylvia’s first group sex with multiple guys

[11:45] vinnietesla: In general, was there a ‘plan’ like that, or did you just all take care of yourselves.

[11:45] lumpesse: previously it had been other girls

[11:45] vinnietesla: Uh huh—

[11:45] lumpesse: everyone just sort of did stuff

[11:46] vinnietesla: It appears to be MMF week for some reason.

[11:46] lumpesse: jacob was sort of on fantasy patrol, making suggestions

[11:46] vinnietesla: Converstaions are turning that way all the time.

[11:46] lumpesse: it was really hot this time since the guys were touching each other and there was another girl

[11:46] vinnietesla: How much bisexual experience did they have?

[11:47] lumpesse: I felt a little less overwhelmed than when it was just two guys

[11:47] lumpesse: she had a lot and he had a little

[11:47] lumpesse: whereas for jay and I it is switched

[11:47] lumpesse: so that worked out well

[11:48] vinnietesla: I’m confused—

[11:48] vinnietesla: jay had been with other guys before?

[11:48] lumpesse: yeah, he had boyfriends for ages, he identified as ‘gay’ for a long time

[11:48] lumpesse: but it has been almost 10 years

[11:49] lumpesse: he was considering himself straight for awhile but since we’ve met he has revised to bisexual

[11:49] vinnietesla: I didn’t know that!

[11:49] lumpesse: now you do!

[11:49] vinnietesla: True dat.

[11:49] lumpesse: (I love your exclamation points, they let me know I’ve done well)

[11:50] vinnietesla: So do you see this staying essentially sexual, or is there potential for romantic involvement.

[11:50] vinnietesla: Why thank you.

[11:50] lumpesse: I’m really not sure.

[11:50] vinnietesla: Aren’t they impressively errect?

[11:50] lumpesse: I see it remaining as a sexual friendship for sure.

[11:51] lumpesse: I’m not even sure how romantic involvement would work for a group.

[11:51] lumpesse: I guess I’m still old fashioned in thinking of it as something that happens between pairs even if there is overlap in the pairs

[11:52] vinnietesla: well, there’s truth to that.

[11:53] lumpesse: But I could see myself becoming romantically interested in either of them or both

[11:53] vinnietesla: After all, any group involvement is composed of a set of pairs,

[11:53] lumpesse: right

[11:53] vinnietesla: when e and b and i were getting entangled for a couple weeks,

[11:53] vinnietesla: when e soured on b that was the end of that.

[11:53] vinnietesla: weakest link and all that.

[11:53] lumpesse: I can see that

[11:54] lumpesse: I’d think in our case the strong links would be in the two established couples

[11:54] lumpesse: obviously

[11:54] vinnietesla: Of course.

[11:54] lumpesse: if either of those came into jeopardy the whole thing would sour pretty badly

[11:54] vinnietesla: I had some interesting conversations on a message board with a guy in a double marriage.

[11:54] vinnietesla: He refers to his wife, his girlfriend, and his boyfriend,

[11:54] vinnietesla: You can extrapolate from there.

[11:55] lumpesse: okay, that makes sense

[11:55] lumpesse: I could conceptualize two parallel committed relationships where everyone is sort of dipping into the other track from time to time

[11:56] lumpesse: it that makes sense

[11:56] lumpesse: but for now, all I know is that they can come over for dinner whenever they want

[11:56] lumpesse: ;)

[11:59] vinnietesla: Hee!

[12:00] vinnietesla: “More dinner parties like that one please!”

[12:00] lumpesse: seriously

[12:00] vinnietesla: You’ve had a pretty eventful year or so.

[12:00] lumpesse: insanely

[12:01] lumpesse: I’ve gone from one sex partner to seven during this calendar year

[12:02] vinnietesla: As in lifetime record?

[12:02] lumpesse: right

[12:03] vinnietesla: Impressive!

[12:03] vinnietesla: I think six new partners a year was the criterion S gave me to keep my slut license current.

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Monogamy is an excellent decision for some people but it isn’t one that we’ve chosen. However, finding like-minded playmates and friends has proven challenging. We primarily come across middle-aged couples that are into the swinging scene. I’ve tried to get to know them and work things out but I always come away from my exchanges thinking that it would just feel awkward. I have this image of J and I showing up at a bar to meet people the age of our parents and, well, feeling like kids. That isn’t to say that I don’t have fantasies about sex with older men but at my age, someone in their late 30s is considered “older”. The couple dynamic seems to amplify the age difference for me as well. We’ve desperately wanted to meet some other people like us that we can be friends with and perhaps fool around with on occasion.

Well, we think we’ve found them.

The other day, Jay met a girl online. The girl had a boyfriend. They thought of themselves as polyamorous and desperately wanted to meet another couple their age. Is this set-up sounding familiar yet? Sylvia and Jacob seemed to be shockingly like us and Sylvia and Jay were already hitting it off. We made arrangements to get drinks together a few nights ago.

We met at one of my favorite bars, the one with the excellent jukebox. We managed to snag the comfy back room that is a converted bank vault. Before long we were all musing aloud on whether or not we could get away with closing the vault door and make use of the comfy couches. Unfortunately, I had papers to write back at home – nothing happened. But what joy at finding people like us. We could talk about kinky sex without scandalized looks or embarassment. We all had things in common music, hobbies, Jacob and I even lived in the same dorm a few years ago.

The next day a flurry of instant messages confirmed what we all had already figured out – there was a big old four way crush in the works.

So, tomorrow night Sylvia and Jacob are coming over for dinner and a wholesome game of Spin the Bottle.

What should I cook?

Seriously, I’m stumped. I need a menu for a sexy dinner party and I need it fast. Don’t let me down, dear readers.

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