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I’ve been keeping this blog for ages now (at least in blog years 3.5 is a really long time). It means a lot to me, it has enriched my life, introduced me to amazing people, taught me new things. I have confidence that I never had before and community to be a part of.

The interesting thing is, that it wasn’t until Sex 2.0 that I really felt *part* of that community. I always felt like an onlooker or even interloper. I still don’t feel like I’m one of the “hip” bloggers with lots of comments (although that has been picking up) and sitting on everyone’s blogrolls.

Part of it is because I don’t play the game. But I don’t think it is a bad game at all - I just feel so uncomfortable asking for recognition. But I am going to do it now.

Rori at Between My Sheets is compiling a list of the best Sex Bloggers of 2008. You know what, I sort of think I deserve to be part of that list. No, fuck it, I do deserve it, I’m proud of what I do and I can think of a 100 or 200 other people that are also deserving but I am going to ask you, my reader, to consider me.

So, come out of hiding for a moment, if you are one my clients and I’ve touched your life, a passing reader that likes my thoughts or my pictures, another blogger that respects me, do me a solid today and tell her about it.

All she wants to know is a few words about why you think I’m deserving. Even as I type this I wonder if I am and if I should even publish this post, but I am going to. I’m also linking to some of my proudest moments on this blog - the posts I have loved that I think you will love too.

(Note: All my comments before April of this year were lost when my site crashed. I have them but I’ll have to restore them by hand and I haven’t had the time to. If you want to re-populate any of these posts, feel free.)

Slipping Into Something More Comfortable (October of 2005)
Bedroom Radio #5 (October of 2005)
A (Reluctant) Spanking (December of 2005)
Tangled Up (January of 2006)
Women Can Be Sick Fucks Too (April of 2006)
Black Dicks In White Chicks (June of 2006)
The First Threesome (August of 2006)
Rope Bondage Images (September of 2006)
Loose Women (February of 2007)
Sex On the Beach (May of 2007)
Threesomes Don’t Have to Suck (September of 2007)
Tease (October of 2007)
What About Masculinity (April of 2008)
Desire Beyond Reason But Within Bounds (April of 2008)
Thoughts On Spanking (May of 2008)
What About the Johns? (June of 2008)
Are You A Sex Blogger or A Sexy Blogger? (July of 2008)

I was having a chat with Nobilis, and he asked me that question. It seems like a simple question but it hit me hard and I wondered about it immediately. When I started blogging over 3 years ago I had many reasons - excitement, exhibitionism, and a big dose of validation.

Yep, I said it, I was looking for validation. It wasn’t a grand feminist act or a social experiment. I was a girl with a Bachelor’s degree, a 2.1 megapixel digital camera, and a long-distance boyfriend. He was the only lover I had ever had and I wanted the approval of others. I was, in the most neutral but honest sense of the phrase, an attention whore.

I still am.

Sure, I might go weeks where I only blog about blogging. Where I don’t intentionally try to titilate. Where no naked pictures, desperate for glowing praise surface, but I still meet the requirement. My boyfriend lives in the house now, I have had new lovers, and my cell phone takes better pics than my old camera did. I’m still an attention whore.

The frightening thing is that, like a junkie, it takes more to get a fix. I’m not impressed by “Ur hot”, now I want to hear “You’re smart”. And I do hear it, every day. Not just from the bloggers up above, but the random reader, even my clients. The feedback means the world to me but it also doesn’t mean a thing.

Writing is a process, not a product. I feel like if I learn something from writing, then it has been worthwhile. The ability to instruct others is just a really fabulous bonus. It builds a community that I am so proud to be part of.

So, what about that question in the title? The cop-out is to say that I try to be both. I won’t lie and say “I do what I do, and if you are turned on that is your business”. Of course I sometimes aim to titilate. I also aim to make people think. And here is the trick with me - thinking *is* sexy. I’m not content to rest on my laurels knowing that my cleavage or the story of what I did last night got someone hard/wet. By my standards, I’ve only been a sexy blogger if I pushed a tiny boundary in your brain.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #139? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
You’re going to come for me.
“I imagined her, bound. Wrists behind her back, whimpering.”

Champagne Orgasms

“I cry out, begging for him to stop, begging him not to”

Tie one on
“He slipped his hands under my blouse and teased my nipples and breasts with his strong hands.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
The Look

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

I was talking to D just a moment ago (holy crap, why is he so hot?) and released some pent-up aggression and rage about sex blogging at him. Carry on - if you don’t hate me now, you might pretty soon.

Ellie: Yeah, I’m just feeling like I should go back to being a boring blog attention whore and stop trying to think
Ellie: ::giggle:: here are my tits, ooh I got fucked so hard last night
Ellie: that is the only thing anyone responds to
Ellie: not that I”m trying to elicit a response
D: I think it’s sexy when you think, and then include a picture of cum covered ass
Ellie: yeah, that was sort a big “fuck you” though, don’t you think?
D: I like the challenge of thinking with limited blood rushing to my penis
Ellie: lol
Ellie: I think I’m just being a bitch lately.
Ellie: Like I’m really bored by sex.
Ellie: Well, not sex, the way people talk about it.
Ellie: For pure titillation.
D: ok, I was confused for a minute
Ellie: Mostly, I read the Sugasm this week and only found 2 things I wanted to finish reading much less vote for.
Ellie: The sexual education is the same information I’ve heard a million times.
Ellie: The BDSM blogs mostly make me want to gouge my eyes out because of the aggressive takedown of the English language that they are trying to stage.
Ellie: and most of the single chicks with shitty webcam photos. . .ugh
Ellie: and I have no doubt that these people are all very interesting but they fucking conform to this silly set of memes and expectations
Ellie: sex blogging doesn’t feel any more exciting or revolutionary than food blogging
Ellie: but at least I read food blogs and think “hmmm, I want to try that recipe”

Now, I won’t argue with you that I am a total cunt here. Also a pretentious asshole. I remember when I first started this and it was fresh and exciting and who am I to begrudge someone else their early moments in the sun and the excitement and titillation of exhibitionism?

Oh yeah, I got fucked last night with my legs up over my head. Jay pounded me until I screamed. I’m sure it woke the neighbors.

Here is a blurry picture of my tits and about an eighth of my books:

Yep, still feels mundane. Sigh. . .

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #138? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
I can only be what I am.
“It’s strangely refreshing, to really submit and give up that control, and not have to make decisions.”

Over the Edge
“He tells me to hold still, in that soft, controlling voice of his.”

A Story Told Out of Order and Out of Character - Part 4
“You thought you could just come to my room and tease me?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
A former slut examined

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #132? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Kink
“A bill outlawing the possession of “extreme pornography” is set to become law next week.”

M is for Mine
“You comment on my wetness.”

The Story Behind the Waxing
“I tend to go to people that I trust really know what they are doing when it comes to my pussy.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Keeley Hazell Regrets

Editor’s Choice
The sadistic impulse

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Being the Receiver…
Desperate boy.

A Parity of Madams and Whores
Trapped
You say trannyboifag, I say trannyboifag

Sex Work
At Least My Vibrators Don’t Judge Me
Sex Worker Solidarity: Gracie

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob in the showers
Clarity

Drunk and horny
Flash #1 - Greedy
Two Minutes and 52 Seconds
Unicorn Sighting

Sex & Politics
Um. Pornography is in focus?

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Another Gratuitous Picture Post
Back with HNT!
Half-Nekkid at the Beach
Lilaceous
Mirror Mirror
Monica - Drop On Jacuzzy
Pornsaint Kylie Ireland
Strange Sex Fantasies
Teen bobs on Ron Jeremy’s cock

Video: Long Distance Lovemaking

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Catalina loves Melvin Moten, Jr. (An interview with the fetish photographer behind Erocrush.com)
If You Were a Sex Toy, What Would You Be?
My IMsL 2008 Trip – Part 4
The Sexiest Form You Might Ever Fill Out
Shall We Play A Game?

BDSM & Fetish
Cerebral Trainee Subject: Susan
A day of torment (pt 2)
Dining Table Punishment Spanking
Dionysian Tales
Harmony Rose Is Dominated On The Training Of O
Other World Kingdom visit - Part 4
Submissive Little Darling

The Submissive Male Construct and Nice Guys
Weighty Matters

Sex Advice
A Little Lesson on Figging…
Sex Dates for Parents
Vaginal Fisting: What It Is and How to Do It

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #131? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Gross Spelling Errors Turn Me Off
“Here are a few other word issues that come up in sex writing that throw me off and drive me crazy.”

L’Artiste

“I want time to sip my whisky, to drink you in as you unveil yourself, as you offer your body to my steady gaze.”

Learning My Limits (Part 1)
“It hurts. It’s gorgeous. ”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
24-Months of AVN Online, $0

Editor’s Choice
The Few, The Proud, The Pornless

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(more…)

Download Episode #14 of Bedroom Radio

Holy Cow! It is a new episode of Bedroom Radio!
Wherein I:
Talk about the sexy sexy parts of Sex 2.0
Play a great song by the Magnetic Fields (lyrics)
Get a serious spanking

Our websites:
Bedroom Radio - bedroomradio.blogspot.com
Ellie’s Blog - www.lumpesse.com
Ellie’s Twitter - www.twitter.com/ellie_lumpesse
Jay’s Blog - eternalapprentice.blogsome.com

Questions, comments, cock shots? lumpesse (at) gmail.com

People and things mentioned in the show:
Amber Rhea
Melissa Gira
Sex 2.0
Regina Lynn
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Kimberlee Cline
Cunning Minx
Sakura Sarashi
Mistress Maeve
Viviane
Furry Girl
Match