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Jack and I go way back, he has commented on this blog under more names than I can count. I was thrilled when he started his own sex blog recently because I always knew he had this sort of thing in him. I was even more thrilled when he wanted to answer my questions on masculinity because I knew his responses would be insightful.

Like others, Jack cites male family members as clear role models but I was also interested in the images of masculinity he drew from popular culture. This is an aspect of masculinity that is discussed infrequently and deserves attention. His influences, in particular, are eclectic and not the first things that many people would associate with the word “masculine”.

When was the first time you remember being aware of masculinity? How old were you? What was the cultural climate or influence?

I guess like a lot of men my image of masculinity is very much rooted in my father. I actually grew up in a house full of women. I was raised by my mother and I had an aunt and two female cousins in the same house as us for most of my childhood.

I think playing sports with my father was when I realized “hey, this what men are supposed to be like.” My was (and still is) a brilliant man who is also athletic and very emotionally detached. I remember playing catch with him, I must have been about nine, and he threw the ball to me and he would throw these pop ups that would basically disappear into the sky and then come down like a meteor.

At home the women were emotional, moody, scattered. When I visited my father I saw someone rational, cold and very disciplined. Masculinity comes with an air of being in control. Being in control of yourself and being in control of others.

It was the mid eighties, New York, upper middle class. I also very much associated wealth and financial security with masculinity I think. My father was a business man, he wore a suit everyday and
carried a brief case and made a lot of money. He drove a BMW and owned two houses and made a point of telling me how he put himself through college.

In my late 20’s, when I finally had some financial freedom and security I remember feeling like a man more than any other time in my life.

Do you think of yourself as masculine? Why or why not?

I think of myself as pretty masculine. I’ve actually grown into masculinity. I was a lot less masculine as a kid. Or at least I felt less masculine. I was a nerd, reading too many books, fascinated by
everything. I wasn’t good at sports, I was soft. I was emotional, I cried, I lashed out, I built up all kinds of defenses. If masculinity meant being in control, I was out of control most of my life.

How does your masculinity relate to your sexuality (be it your orientation, preferences, or expressions)?

My sexual tastes are not that focused, but I would certainly say I am mostly straight. I like girls, though I occasionally am intrigued by men it is usually not a sexual kind of feeling. That being said I have been very attracted to women who dress like men and act like men in the past. Thus my old habit of falling for lesbians. Drag kings are hot, but it’s not the masculinity that turns me on as much as the masculine front with the feminine peeking out. A chubby girl in a suit and tie with a drawn on mustache is only hot if the curve of her breasts is still unable to be hidden and the smoothness of her cheeks too perfect.

That being said I am mostly attracted to feminine girls. Curves and pouting lips, large breasts and asses. My tastes shift and grow as I get older and more than anything physical intelligence and creativity are my main attractors and those things are not inherently masculine or feminine to me.

As for me I think I put off a pretty manly vibe. I certainly look and dress like a man. I am often obsessed by women and femininity. A lot of my idols are women, though. Anais Nin being the person I have read most about in life and have drawn so much from.

My idea of masculinity is rooted in my father, Indiana Jones, Batman, Dr Peter Venkman and Henry Miller. Smart, strong, creative, bawdy, hairy and dominant.

Some people have asked me if they can answer the questions. Absolutely! I look forward to hearing from as many people about this as possible. You can answer the questions and email your response to lumpesse AT gmail DOT com or you can post them on your own weblog. There is no need to link back to me (although I certainly don’t mind) but I would love if you sent me a link so that I could link to your responses here. The only thing I ask is that the comments of each post be left to discuss that particular post, so don’t post your answers in the comments.

I’ve been lucky to get to know Catalina recently and I was so sad today to hear that she is being put into a very difficult place by the conservative administration of her child’s private school. An administrator that isn’t happy with her lifestyle is trying to stop her little girl from attending the school by tacking exorbitant fees onto the tuition bill that is due in a matter of days. Catalina isn’t asking for handouts but she has some great friends, like Lochai, who are donating prizes to a raffle. The proceeds will go to her daughter’s tuition bill and you will have a chance to win some very valuable and beautiful prizes. Proceed to her website to see all of the details.

Edited to add: You will now see that I’ve added some prizes into the mix. I’m giving away some great books from my personal library as well as a complimentary phone session. So, there are now more than half a dozen prizes, your chances for winning just keep increasing!

Edit #2: There are A LOT more awesome prizes. Seriously, check it out!

Anyone that has been following my Twitter lately knows that I’ve got a pretty serious crush on Thursday’s Child. Sure, all of us flirt on there, but this one is real. I am so lucky to have met Thursday and D and to count them as close friends. I’ve watched them go through struggles and growth over the last few months and I’ve been honored to be a friend to them. Jay and I hope to meet them very soon - plane tickets will be ordered one of these days and we will have them to ourselves.

Lately, Thursday and I have been leaving each other fun little voicemails to titillate and amuse. I’ve mostly been playful, sexy, and tried to have fun. This morning, though, I woke up and had a message from her. It had come in the middle of the night and I had a feeling it would be special. I was right. I knew I couldn’t do the sexiness of this message justice by just describing it. No, my dear audiophiles, you deserve to hear it. Grab the headphones!

Thursday’s Voicemail to Me

You back? Shaking like I was? When I first met Thursday I was instantly attracted to her, we are so similar in so many ways and she felt like the sister I never had. Except, I suppose most people don’t want to do to their sisters what I want to do to her. I have the same curiosities about her skin and her body. We have already warned the boys that they may have to sit calmly in the corner as we focus on each other. They might whine but it will be worth it.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #144? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Anti-Porn Protest Gets Weird
“People get very excited about their causes and lack the sense to see if the information backs them up. ”

The Come Shot

“You don’t see their bodies going blotchily red and hear them howling like a banshee.”

Third Time’s a Charm
“If I lift my kilt on Bourbon Street I’m much more likely to get arrested than if Elizabeth takes off her top.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
In My Office

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

I sort of feel like a jerk announcing this. I’ve become one of those people that is attached to my cell phone. I am writing this from a mobile version of wordpress despite the fact that there are three working computers within 100 feet of me.

Jay likes that I answer text messages faster now but not that I am always attached to Twitter and email. So I am wondering what the iPhone has done for my sex life. Here are the things I can think of:

1. It was something to nervously fidget with when Carmine got up for the bathroom on our second date.

2. I have posted more impromptu pictures of my cleavage on Flickr.

3. I know if my voicemail messages are likely to say something hot because I know who they are from.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #143? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Interludes - part 3
“He winds the rope around his hands, smoothing the kinks, and I stand there, breathing a little faster, conscious of all those eyes upon me.”

Hurts So Good

“I want you to wear the badges of sweet distress for days.”

Shower fantasy
“You don’t want to admit it, but you want me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Why I haven’t blogged about the Mosley case

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish
A bit of roleplay …
Bound, Pinched and Spanked
Club Visit, Part 1

The Coolest Bondage Fetish Edgeplay Picture Ever Taken
24/7 - Día Internacional del BDSM
Discoveries of the Domina
First Encounter: an unlikely meeting
Girls Boarding School updates. Hard Punishment
The Hottest Gas Mask Fetish Erotica I’ve Ever Read By Tina Peitsche
Leather Retreat 2008 – My Dolly
Masochism
Mr. Kink Plays With Thursday’s Child

My inner pain slut makes an appearance
Play time at Jules & Malycia’s
The Seduction of Daddy’s baby
Spanking Galleries: Punishment for pretty girl

Sex Work
A Stellar First Call

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Housewife on the Loose
Mz Berlin Is SICK! Unfair. New Fetish Movie With Jewell Marceau In My Clips Store
Nexus Vibro Review For Babeland
Ron Jeremy Reviews: The Max Hardcore Verdict
The World Erotic Art Museum (WEAM) and Lochai

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Carmine
Catalina loves Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes
Club Tantra: My Experience, Unabridged 3

Fiction: The Hotel, Part 2
Fiction: The Jet Setter, Part III of III
Getting to fuck the neighbor 18
Hunger
I Have a Crush
I worship your cock
A long wait
A Lovely Sexual Fantasy From A Very Special Friend
No reservations, part 5

Out of the woods - part III
The Point of Exhaustion
Popping My Cherry
Quiet as Kept
Receptacle For Your Love…
Video: Seducing a Girl (Complete)
Welcome Home

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Anna, Evi & Jula (Hegre-Art)
Brittany Fuchs
Cam2sex submits another free blowjob movie
CamWithHer blondie Elise shows round ass
Nude II
Showin’ a little ass -HNT

Sex Advice
Advice for Women on a Wife Led Marriage

Ask Miss Bliss-She leaves me tongue-tied
Going Green While Getting Down
How to have sex in a car

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Faking it
Fine Line Between Art and Porn Finer Than Ever
Half-Nekkid and Turning 40
It’s Good To Be Catalina
Love & Sex = Chemical?

Revelation
Still haven’t found what I’m looking for
“Stripper” or “Exotic Dancer?”
Why the deaf are probably great lovers

Sex Humor
How About Doing Something with that Unsightly Vagina of Yours
If Loving This Video Is Wrong, We Don’t Want to Be Right

My First Time (with a Home Pregnancy Test)

So, this is sort of cool, apparently if I write posts that are tangentially about blogging they get voted to the top. I remember the first Sugasm (it was called Bloggasm then and I was one of the first few entries) it is really cool to see it keep growing.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #142? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Comedy vs. Tragedy
“Are you on your period? What? Did he just say…”

Ian, or, Sometimes Sex is Hilarious

“In short, it isn’t sex blogger sex.”

A Wish
“I wish that you could know the indescribable pleasure of being enfolded in your warm, gentle wetness.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Road Rage

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Forgetting
How Do You Flirt With Milk?
The Hunt

I Don’t Usually Date, but…
I have huge tits.
Men on Pointe
My Femme Cock
Nibbles and Bits: Vegetarian? Really? Doh!
Present and first love making

Sex Advice
How to Make Her Want Anal Sex

Play Safe
The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet Women

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Gisele Bundchen Topless and Nipple Slip Pictures
HNT - Purple Lace Part Two
Lady Sascha Does HHNT
Marta - Professional
Once upon a time HNT

Pornsaint Tara Tainton
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet -HNT
Sam Bound

Sex Humor
It did not work
When your mother has more sex than you do…

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Can’t Get Enough

Fiction - The Wrong Smith Girl
Getting to fuck the neighbor 15
Harder…
In any language,…
Le Cadeaux
Nine: of nasty names
Oh Honey, Make Yourself Cum for Me
The Parking Garage
Pointless

The Ride.
Rub a Dub Dub
The Second Time Around
Slow.Soft.Hot.Perfect
Spin the bottle-the conclusion
Tits~n~Teets 2
TNT - Part 2
The Wanting
Writhe

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Can A Film Prostitute In 1930’s Shanghai Fare Any Better Than One Of The 100,000 Prostitutes Working The Streets In The City?
Donate To Satine Phoenix’s Tantric Exploration
Escort X: Find great escorts
Spanking erotica interview with Alison Tyler
The value of erotic blogging
Wanted: Your Orgasms Caught on Tape

BDSM & Fetish
Auction of a Slave
Changing Cravings For Pain: A Survey
A Beautifully Cruel Predicament Bondage Scene
Cuntwriting
Fitting Punishment
The house in Vienna
July MVK: Play piercing

Leather Retreat 2008 – The Toll Booth
Mz Berlin Gets The Bastinado And Rack Torture On Hogtied
Necessary Roughness
Routine Maintenance, pt. 2
A Scene in Three Parts … (part III)
Taken and Collared as a Sex Slave while her husband sleeps
Telegraph
Trying on new shoes, Friday night edition

Looks like I’ve made the top 3 spots on Sugasm this week. Isn’t that special? ;) Oh, and Fleshbot has a picture of me fellating a sex toy. You know, because I’m classy like that.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #141? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
“Are you a sex blogger or a sexy blogger?”
“It builds a community that I am so proud to be part of.”

The J Word

“And while you’re with her, I’ll be with him.”

Transcending moment
”It’s that place between fear and arousal, and they are so very closely related.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Chill Pleasure

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.