Comments on: Dating a (reformed) cheater

By: manar

manar — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:26:21 +0000

lovely Lumie:) you always stir passions and colors in me,, miss you

By: Coco Nomdeplume

Coco Nomdeplume — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:14:08 +0000

Make that "wittol"

By: Coco Nomdeplume

Coco Nomdeplume — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:12:04 +0000

I have an issue with a lot of poly lit being evangelistic, and sort of glossing over the bad parts, and sometimes having a holier-than-thou attitude towards monos, which creates a poly ghetto of sorts.
“Since I am coming from this other framework, for me the logical solution to having a longing for another partner is to discuss it and potentially change the organization of the relationship. For many people that are monogamous by default, it is to cheat.”
This is why it’s very important for polys to write about their experiences, and honestly. It’s a nontraditional mode of living/loving, there isn’t a whole lot in the way of documentation or guidelines. (Although you just know it’s been around forever in some form… A few weeks ago, I came across the term “wittold” as a synonym for “cuckold,” but it’s slightly different, implying a man who wittingly allows his wife to have relations with other men.)
So anyway, polyamory is an experiment. An experiment is only useful (to others) if a) the conditions are thoroughly documented and b) it’s reproducible.
Reproducibility is the key. Maybe less people would cheat if they knew open negotiation was actually a thing they could do, but they are going to need trustworthy firsthand accounts.
This is a very roundabout way of saying I’m a fan.

By: Miss Orgy

Miss Orgy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:23:02 +0000

Yes I definitely agree with you. I think it is more of a cool factor than anything else, especially for guys. I think there is a portion of men who just go along with the conversations so they don’t seem like “pussies” and act like they support infidelity. When in reality they are very happy being one women men. I do on the other hand think it is ok to have an openly sexual relationship if that’s the honest choice of both parties involved. But personally when I am in a relationship I like to to keep it to one person, it’s less complicated that way. Great post BTW! How long have you been running this site? I just started mine, let me know if you have any tips. :)

By: Jack Stratton

Jack Stratton — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:58:45 +0000

Reminds me of a lot of conversations I’ve had with a friend of mine. He doesn’t particularly think cheating on his wife would be the worst thing that could happen. In fact he seems to think it is inevitable. At the same time my ideas on poly completely baffle him.

He even said he sort of expects that his wife will cheat on him, but would never want to know about it. I found that mind boggling.

Then again it seems like a lot of my “vanilla” friends do a lot of the same things I do but don’t have fancy names for it and don’t ever discuss it. Makes me think we are less kinky and more simply verbose. Not that being verbose, in this case, is a bad thing. I think of myself more of a sexual critic.