Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek is a smarty-pants, sexy blogger who also runs one of my favorite groups on FetLife, BDSM Theory. I encourage you to join up and see the discussion, but the post also appears on her excellent blog. She writes:

Just because someone adopts the label of “queer,” for instance, or “slave” it does not mean that anyone else who inhabits these labels looks at all like this person. This queer slave could be male, female, transgendered, transsexual, masculine, feminine, genderqueer, etc. and may be a service slave, a sexual slave, a brat, part-time, 24/7, a pro slave, live-in, or some combination thereof. This person could have various fetishes such as humiliation, force, objectification, boots, heels, non-sexual service, rope bondage, metal bondage, pain, or anything else. This person in other aspects of life could be a CEO, an artist, an auto mechanic, a teacher, a writer, a sys admin, a starship captain, or anything else.

The labels we assign ourselves are the most accurate, personal, hard-fought, and precious. But they are also those that can be co-opted by outsiders and twisted against us in painful ways. I avoid complex labels for these reasons. But at the same time, I find myself with them. Student, teacher, slut, sex worker, woman, femme, bisexual, kinky, fetishist, pervert, whore. Those are all words I’ve used to describe myself in the past and even in the present. But they also, as Scarlet Lotus points out, don’t fully define me.

This isn’t a post where I’m going to say, “Oh! I am so much more than my sex, don’t reduce me!” That is too simple. And sometimes it seems that my days are consumed by sex, thinking about it, writing about it, doing it. Ironically, I am not sure I have much more sex than most other people. Sometimes it seems like a non-stop flow and sometimes it feels quite conventional. I wonder sometimes if people read this website, and see how I label myself and expect me always to be fucking. Clearly I update Twitter too often for that to be true. . .

So, I want you to step up and label yourself for me. Tell me *what* (not who) you are and then tell me what that means or doesn’t mean. Of course we all move beyond our labels but tell me how you embrace yours.

These Door Jam Cuffs don’t look like much out of the package but turned out to be surprisingly functional. They work quite simply without any fussy installation or need for hardware.

A serious bondage enthusiast would probably have more severe and effective restraints in their repertoire but if you are interested in getting started, these cuffs (or something like Under the Bed Restraints) are the perfect accessory. You won’t be able to tie up a fugitive with these but since your participant will be willing and ready (despite their playful protests) no need to worry about that, right?

The cuffs are made of a soft material and fasten with simple Velcro closures. While they aren’t meant to hold up your body weight, they will take on a fair amount of it if your knees get a bit weak. They can be used on either wrists or ankles – in fact, using two sets at once isn’t the worst idea!

One drawback of these that I noticed right away was that the way they hang over the door jam doesn’t actually do anything to stop the wearer from slipping their wrists toward each other. In addition to the fact that they are Velcro, this makes them exceedingly simple to get out of.

However, this criticism is only leveled in comparison to more serious bondage implements. These Door Jam Cuffs definitely fall in the very playful category and will function effectively, dare I even say joyously, for a variety of exploits you might think of. Mine are staying right in their place over the bedroom door for any impromptu play that I come up with.

VS.

An episode wherein Ellie interviews JohnBaku of Fetlife.com and decides if his pretty blue eyes are any match in sexiness for the pretty blue
G Twist from Vibe Review.

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Read my full review of the G Twist.

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Blog: www.lumpesse.com
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So, I am known for my anger and rage that is directed at most dating sites. I don’t usually fare much better on social networks. However, I have an exception to that rule (as of this moment at least).

I learned about FetLife while I was at Sex 2.0 and I signed up when I got home. Honestly, I’m really impressed. Even really angry people are impressed.

The founder of the site is engaged with members and seems to go out of his way to make things work. The site is smooth, runs quickly and doesn’t have a bunch of useless features that no one uses.

Honestly, it just works and the people seem to work as well. So, join up and find me (username: ellie_lumpesse) and we can totes be friends in kink and depravity (as if we weren’t already!)