Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert

Jaguar Harness from Babeland

Friday
Jun 17,2011

I’ve tried a good handful of harnesses at this point in my life and the Jaguar Harness is at the top of my list thus far. First of all, mine is sexy black leather that feels gorgeous against my skin and slides across my hips and thighs in a most becoming manner. The quality and construction is phenomenal. I think it is really important to have a strap-on harness that makes you feel sexy. So many I’ve tried have been a bit awkward and that really makes a difference.

The Jaguar will accommodate a variety of O-rings and also works with a double-ended toy. This was a big benefit. I tried it with the Feeldoe and it worked great. The Feeldoe is intended to work without a harness but I never had much luck with that. The Jaguar  was the perfect harness to keep it in place.  The three strap design also allows for easy access to my pussy while I’m using it with a standard dildo. That is never a bad thing.

The leather cleans up very easily with a damp cloth and mild detergent. The metal fasteners were sturdy and have not shown any sign of rusting after several cleanings. Just use common sense and clean as you would with all leather products and the Jaguar should last for a very long time.

Thanks to Babeland for providing this product.

Buzz 1 from Babeland

Tuesday
Dec 9,2008

The Buzz 1 is a great little realistic silicone dildo. I was impressed with the shape of the head, in particular and the fact that it comes with a bullet vibe to convert it to a vibrator readily.

I played with the Buzz 1 and found the shape and size incredibly satisfying. It occupies that not too small and not too big range for me. The silicone is ultra-smooth which means that with a good application of lube it gets really slick and lovely. Another bonus of this toy is that it is harness compatible with a 1 1/2″ O-ring. I tried it out in my Corsette harness and decided that it was quite majestic and impressive looking.

I haven’t had a chance to fuck either of my boyfriends with this yet and my girlfriend is a big fan of Goliath, but I might see if she wants to experience the Buzz 1 next time around. Afterall, variety is the spice of life and we’re all quite accustomed to stunning variety.

Nipple Love (HNT)

Thursday
Aug 28,2008

So, as I mentioned last week, we received an impromptu invitation to join Artemis for a play and rope education weekend. We had a fabulous time. I did my first needle scene and Jay was suspended. I also got tied up by Arte in a gorgeous harness.

When this woman calls herself an erotic facilitator, she isn’t making things up. Artemis is one of those people that have instant magnetism in a room and she always has her eye out for how to bring people out of their shells and give them confidence in their sexuality. I’m honored to be friends with her. I’m also thrilled that she was inspired to take some photos of the harness she put on me. Here is one of my favorites. She titled it “Nipple Love” because it features Jay’s hand on me as we lounged together.

Nipple Love

Beginning, middle, end (HNT)

Wednesday
Jul 23,2008

This is the back of the harness that Artemis put on me. She did beautiful weaving on the back so that I would be able to lay down on it and not have any knots digging in.

Handiwork by Artemis hunter

After getting the harness in place I was molested. Significantly. Implements used included a violet wand, an e-stim kit, a Hitachi, and wax that was melted using a blow torch.

Chests pressed together

After 3 hours had passed, she set me free. The rope marks were beautiful.

Rope marks

About Ellie



Ellie Lumpesse writes about sex, BDSM, relationships, non-monogamy, feminism, and rhetoric. In addition to blogging, she produces the Bedroom Radio sex podcast, is a phone slut for hire, and reviews sex toys.

This is the last time you will see her talk about herself in the third person.

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