Welcome back!

I’ve identified as poly for awhile but never had much occasion to discuss it with friends and loved ones since I haven’t gotten serious about a secondary partner in the past. Now I find myself with two secondary partners that I’m deeply in love with. So, I’ve been coming out about this aspect of myself whenever it happens to come up in conversation. Recently I was speaking to an old friend from high school and had this amusing exchange:

Tom: so tell me about the new relationship!

Ellie: I have a spare boyfriend and a girlfriend now.

Tom: what is a spare boyfriend

Ellie: just like a regular one but additional

• What if you could buy social justice? (Part 9: Think Pink: Cancer Profiteering)

January 14, 2009
• Target Women: Jewelry

  “That’s right, Dad. Your…


December 18, 2008
• spreadmagazine:

  This woman is ridiculously beautiful. She…


December 22, 2008
• therealkatiewest:

  Come On Over on Vimeo (via Vimeo)
  i am in…


January 11, 2009
• A dude with glitter in his beard

January 13, 2009
• Sex Games Beyond Strip Poker

January 13, 2009
• Poly/Relationship Mapping Workshop in SF, Jan 16th

January 13, 2009
• On Breakups and Poly

December 18, 2008
• Size & Sexuality

December 24, 2008
• Sex and Intimacy Project – Part 11

January 4, 2009
• "Why Are Gay Marriage Advocates Not Defending Polyamory?"

January 6, 2009
• If Jewelry Commercials Annoy You, This Is The Video To Watch [Badvertising]

December 19, 2008
• Safe! (Yes, we’ve got a video!)

December 12, 2008
• ‘Rom Coms’ Can Ruin Your Love Life, Sound a Lot Dirtier Than They Are

December 16, 2008
• Shave the Date

December 16, 2008
• “I’m kind of … insatiable.”

December 15, 2008
• By Your Side, by Clayton Cubitt. “Long portrait of a…

December 15, 2008
• Big is Beautiful

December 9, 2008
• Today in WTF: Planned Parenthood Gift Certificates

December 3, 2008
• Call for Submissions: Whore Lover

December 3, 2008

I will be appearing tonight (January 21, 2009) at 10:30 PM Eastern time on the Passion talk show with Dr. Laurie Betito. The program is on a Montreal news talk station, CJAD. You can stream the broadcast and listen in! I’ll be talking about phone sex and other tidbits about life and sexuality. Try to tune in!

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #156? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

I’m kind of … insatiable.

“She’s gasping already. Each breath a moan, each touch connected to the noises she makes.”

The most spankable day of the year

“And for spankos, they are a high holy day to be approached with all the reverence and gaiety of a Pagan-cum Christian holiday.”

Private club

“It’s that kind of club – the kind you have to know about, the kind that doesn’t even have a name.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: Being Childfree

Editor’s Choice

I Wonder

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Jay and I will be visiting New York this week. Starting today, actually. The agenda for the trip is to have fun and hang out with perverts. If you are a fun pervert, be in touch. I know that I will be at Druken, Careening Writers and In the Flesh at various times on Thursday night. Stop by and say hello. If you need me between now and then, email (lumpesse AT gmail DOT com) and Twitter seem to be your best options. I’ll be staying connected.

Sometimes things go missing on my computer for awhile and I unearth them. This picture is an example of that, I really need a better filing system:

The Hitachi Magic Wand is often referred to as the Cadillac of vibrators. I think that description is erroneous because “Cadillac” implies a certain level of prestige and conspicuous consumption. I don’t think that the Hitachi implies that at all. It is simple, inelegant, and packs an enormous amount of power. Really, it is like a pickup truck. It is a utilitarian stand-by that gets the job done.  In fact, it is often over-kill for the job that it needs to get done but no one faults it because it is one of the Good ‘Ole Boys of sextoy land.

If you’ve had enough with analogies, let me say that I adore my Hitachi and it is my go-to toy when I want an orgasm in a matter of moments. It has also become my go-to toy for extracting orgasms out of my lovely girlfriend. Here are some of her thoughts on it.
Ellie: Alright, Hitachi. Are you a convert?
Ariel: I worship at the temple of the Hitachi
Ellie: And it worships at yours!
Ariel: I have to be honest, I wasn’t too jazzed up about the idea of the Hitachi
Ellie: I was a little worried that it might be too much for you.
Ariel: I’ve never been that big of a fan of vibrations, so I went into it uncertain about being successful with it
Ellie: What was different about it from other vibrators you have tried?
Ariel: Aside from the sexy gal using it on me…
it’s the depth (not length) -it’s all about the depth
this wasn’t all on the surface, the vibrations seem to just flow through me
Ellie: Did you prefer it on your clit directly or with the attachment?
Ariel: For speed to climax and repeatability, I prefer the attachment – the jelly material gives a nice cushion and I’m then I’m not worried about getting either overstimulated or numbed
I’m also on board without the attachment, but I think I couldn’t go for as many rounds that way
Ellie: Yeah, it definitely can get overwhelming after awhile.
I also used it to conduct vibration through that glass dildo? How did that work for you?
Ariel: Really well
Ellie: Was it less intense than with the attachment?
Ariel: Now I’m thinking up all kinds of things that it could conduct through…
Ellie: I’ve done it with rope ;)
Ariel: Sign me up!
It was less intense, but not by much—it was a different sensation entirely for me though
Less conforming to me, and more insistent
Ellie: Yeah, the shape of that toy is really different and the glass is so hard that it will conduct it differently.

***

All of my Babeland affiliate commissions from the month of December will be donated to the Butterfly Temptress, a blogger that is battling cancer. You can get 10% off your order at Babeland through December 31st by using coupon code “BUTTERFLY”.

Sabrina has re-launched her brilliant blog Full Frontal Politics with an incisive and spot-on article about the Australian Supreme Court’s decision to convict a man on child pornography charges for possessing drawn images of Simpsons characters engaging in sexual acts.

Okay. Let’s put our niche porn marketing hats on here and shine the red light of reason upon this logic. Someone who is looking for cartoon photos of The Simpsons characters is probably not fueling the demand for genuine child porn that does involve the abuse of children. Shock-value cartoon porn simply doesn’t tend to cross over to the screams and pain of gory reality. Many–most I’ve talked to–viewers of cartoon porn and hentai prefer it because they’re trying to get away from the gray areas of gory reality. Let’s ignore, for a moment, the obvious slippery-slope leap of logic used here and assume, for a moment, that it’s possible for fiction to inspire its viewers to enact crimes portrayed therein.

(“Pull Down Your Skirt; Your Id Is Showing”)

I’ll spare you the round of, “Amen, sistah” and just direct you to read the rest of her insightful commentary. She has moved past outrage, into logic, and ultimately has me a little afraid. Fiction is just that and the goriest and most brutal crimes and atrocities are committed in it. When I think of the fictional material available in the world, Bart banging Lisa is pretty low on my scale of disgust and revulsion.