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This weekend Jay and I travelled to the Fetish Fair Flea Market in Charlotte to present a class on Kinky Phone Sex for Couples. We had a great time and met some great friends that we had previously only known online. Catalina and Marky were kind enough to open their home to us and we spent Friday night with them. I wish I could say that we had some hot sex to tell you about (I mean, I really wish) but we were all beat and after eating pizza and talking about blogs and sex and random kinky stuff we all got to bed pretty early.

However, Catalina and Marky are amazingly cool people and both brilliantly fun, smart, and sexy. Know how sometimes when you are meeting someone for the first time it can be weird and you get uncomfortable because they aren’t exactly what you expect them to be? Well, this was not one of those situations.

On Saturday they both attended my class along with a small group and I got to have a great conversation/workshop with some lovely people about how to improve communication in their relationships and share fantasies with phone sex. After my class, it was time to go shopping since that was what the Fetish Fair was about.

Jay and I saw tons of cool stuff from some great vendors but we were most swayed by the amazing assortment of canes from The Kink Shop. We picked out three pretty thick ones and I can’t wait to try them out.

Our friends Liz and Alex had come to see us at the Fetish Fair and after we got our canes, Liz ran up to me in a gorgeous under the bust corset. She hadn’t been wearing it when I saw her just a few minutes before and I quickly complimented her on it. So, just for kicks, she said she would show me the vendor she had got it from.

Bear in mind that I had absolutely no intention of buying a corset. They are certainly gorgeous but it seemed like a lot of money to spend on a single item of clothing. However, the owner of Passional was really lovely and sweet and cinched me into a few just to try them out. This brings me to my tutorial on how to get your boyfriend to buy you a corset. Just follow this simple procedure:

Step One: Try on corset and let boyfriend see.

Congratulations! You have just successfully gotten your boyfriend to buy you a corset. I wish I was kidding but Jay’s hand was on his wallet before I even made it to the mirror. Sure, it was a lot of money to spend but he rationalized that it was a gift for both of us. So, how does it look?  How about you tell me.

More pictures are right on Flickr.

Download Episode #20 of Bedroom Radio (15MB, 24 minutes)

Be sure to listen to learn about your chance to win a copy of Spanked for yourself! You have to hear the show to know the rules for the contest, but I’ll give you a hint. This picture of my tushy after a spanking is an important clue:

Other links of note for this episode:
The rest of the Spanked virtual book tour
The Spanked blog
Dark Odyssey Summer Camp

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We met for drinks a few months ago and then schedules got tight and new jobs were started and we lost touch. Carmine found me again a few weeks ago, telling me that he wanted to see me.

So we met for drinks and talked about school and teaching and the law. We also talked about lubes and blogging and the joys of rope and electro-sex. I’m attracted to Carmine but the conversation wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t flirtatious, it just was.

He asked me back to his place so I texted Jay to make sure it was alright. It was. I knew that something might happen but I wasn’t expecting it. Carmine is sweet and self-effacing. He has a slight Boston accent that makes my pussy twinge when he says words like “car”. I couldn’t, for the life of me see him making the first move.

He did. Standing in his living room he grabs me and kisses me. He leads me to the bedroom and begins taking off my clothes. We tumbled around on the bed for awhile kissing and groping. At one point he paused, excusing himself to go to the bathroom. I posed myself so that I would look effortlessly sexy when he came back in the room. On my stomach, legs bent and crossed at the ankles with feet in the air. He came back in the room and slid on top of me, caressing my back with his body and kissing the top of my head. I felt his cock pressing against my ass and I wiggled a bit as I looked over my shoulder at him.

“You have a baseball bat next to your bed.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you afraid of intruders?”

“No, it helps me think.”

I look at him quizzically.

“It is a guy thing,” he explains, “it is phallic.”

I smirk and decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. He is grinding against me and kissing my shoulders. He asks me what I want and I shoot the question back at him. So, he tells me he wants to fuck me and spanks my ass. Too softly.

I tell him I want to fuck him too but he’s going to have to hit harder. He does.

So we fuck.

Yeah, I know, I always skip that part. Here, let me give you some highlights. He slides into me and his cock is thick and hard and I squeeze him. His eyes widen a bit and so do mine. He pins my hands beside my head. He squeezes my wrists hard and it hurts and I really love it. I scream, a lot. Obscenities, sacrilegious prayers, and incomprehensible things. Throughout it all, Carmine retains a placid and contemplative look on his face. I smile and he smiles back but he is already smiling. I wonder if there is some joke that I am missing. And as his cock slams me, sometimes too hard and too deep. So aggressively that I have to remind him that my cervix is there, he still smiles. I wonder if this has something to do with the baseball bat.

So, we finish and I bite my lip and steal a quick glance at him. I giggle a bit. I’m not being myself so much as an approximation of myself. It is okay, he might know this or it might be too complex for the moment or he might not even care. I ask him to explain the baseball bat again. He picks it up and shows me. He is laying on his back next to a puddle of ejaculate with a baseball bat in his hands and my naked body slung partially over his. He looks a bit like he owns the world. He holds the bat like he is expecting a pitch and moves it back and forth a bit. I duck and giggle. He explains that he’s never even played baseball on a team and he isn’t that big of a fan. It just works. He tousles my hair and asks if I want a cigarette.

I tell him that I’ve never had a cigarette after sex before. Maybe it is too much of a cliche. He gives me an incredulous look. Law students are apt to smoking and Carmine knows that when I’m having a drink, I’m prone to a cigarette or two. I tell him that I’ve probably fucked smokers before but the cigarette never came up. He tells me it can’t be beat.

We slide back into our clothes and walk out on the porch and talk about evolutionary biology and have a smoke. He isn’t lying, it is a really good cigarette. The night is hot and exceedingly Southern he tells me that he hopes that now that we’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, we can get more adventurous next time.

Oh, thats right I left out some details. I met Carmine because he likes cross dressing and taking it in the ass from girls with strap-ons. He is also perfectly capable of spanking me and pinning me to the bed while he fucks me hard. Interesting how people and their sexualities aren’t just one thing. My life and relationships would be much too boring if that were true.

Tomorrow night I have a pretty fabulous play date. I am blissfully in the dark about what will be happening to me. However, I know there will be rope skillfully applied by a brilliant artist. There will also be a wicked sadist, giving a generous dose of pain. I’ve been asked to bring my toy bag as well so I know there will also be some delicious vibrations.

Am I nervous about being left in the dark? Well, a little bit but I’m also beside myself with excitement. So here I am, ass out, waiting for the first swat and expecting to be taken but not knowing where.

Very spankable tushy courtesy of Retro Raunch

I’ve been thinking a lot about kink lately. I’ve spent many a happy moment in the last week with my ass in the air receiving lovely swats at it from Jay. And that feels good, I like the pain and the sting. I like the noise and the opportunity to cry out. I love the way that my ass wiggles with each thwack and I can feel the sensation travel through me, jostling my body and making me wetter.

Then I get philosophical, does this make me a masochist? Am I just enduring the sensation for the thrill of the accomplishment? Or perhaps just because it translates to the tingling arousal that washes over me. When we distill it all down to sensations, what is so different about a loving caress and a hard, firm smack? If they accomplish the same thing and make me feel the same way are they any different?

Most people would lean towards one of two answers for this quandary. The first response would be that being bent over and spanked is an act of submission. Even if I’m not tied up or calling him Master or any of the other trappings that might come with it. Certainly I see this argument, the position is vulnerable and helpless. While there isn’t punishment going on, I feel controlled perhaps by the pain or maybe by the pleasure. But I am under a spell in those moments. The problem here is that all pleasure is submission by this regard. And if staring at my ass and whacking it hard is a sensation that Jay enjoys (he does!) then who is really submitting? We are both giving ourselves over to pleasure, both enjoying the activity, neither truly passive or wholly active.

So, if I am not being submissive in this moment, perhaps I am being humiliated in some way. Indeed, spanking brings people back to childhood, to memories of punishment and shame. Enjoying spanking is a conflicted lot, and produces strong taboos and triggers for many people. But what if I don’t feel this shame? What if my childhood spankings take no hold on me when I am, joyously, waiting for each thud on my rear?

Again, that leaves us with sensation. Each nerve acting in turn sending signals of pleasure and pain to the brain. Sometimes twisting along the way. The sound emits from the meeting of skin on skin and the ragged protests and gutteral moans and sharp cries that come out of my body. Can it be transcendent if I am not submitting, if I am not humiliated? If we are just two equals sharing pleasure and pain and the shock of something wholly different and unexpected?

I think I am pretty happy realizing that this might not be about dominance and submission at all. Or at least it doesn’t have to be. Those of you that are happy spankers and spankees, share your ideas with me on this!