Image from RopeRookie.com – Click to see the rest of the gallery.

I’ll admit it. I salivate a little when I think about rope on my body. We rope sluts are a peculiar breed within the BDSM world. Whereas many people complain and say that rope bondage takes too long, we see it as an end in itself. A brilliant exchange of energy and sensual connection.

The first time I played with rope was with Jay, neither of us really knew what we were doing but it still took my breath away. A few years later and we’re both getting better at the game. In the spirit of education we’re going to DomCon Atlanta this weekend.  We’ve both been asked to be demo bottoms for Artemis Hunter’s class on predicament bondage. I’ve bottomed for this class before and it was a ton of fun. I won’t give away any surprises, though, for those of you that plan on attending.

After the demo and day of classes, we plan to go play 1763 with some friends in Atlanta. Last time we were there was for Sex 2.0 and we’re hoping to make the most of the play space and equipment this time around. I have several hundred feet of great rope to test my skills on.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #149? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

People I could hang out with

“But it wasn’t just a story, it was a damn sexy story.”

Red, Hot Ass

“I grunted, but held still.”

Smart Girls Make Better Lovers

“Chicks with brains can make you scream.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice

Sex Blogging and Writing for the Drawer

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Jay and I went shopping today. The plan was to buy some new shoes but I ended up trying on bras and tops. I like what this one does for me. In fact I like it so much that I think I’ll go take some pictures with just the bra.

In literary studies there is a concept of writing “for the drawer”. It refers to writing that was done in a historical period or within a socio-political situation that did not allow for it to be published or even openly shared. Some of the greatest literary works produced in early Stalinist Russia were not published until 30-40 years after their initial inception.

People like Andrei Bely, Mikhael Bulgakov, and Anna Akhmatova had important things to say and vivid artistic expression that simply could not be expressed. Their ideas were not just unpopular, they were dangerous to the government. And, the simple knowledge of the existence of these writings would have been sufficient to cause them and their entire families to be imprisoned or killed. Writing for the drawer was a political reality and necessity.

People still write in this way today, but not for such dire reasons. The cloak of anonymity that most bloggers maintain is significant but sometimes even it isn’t sufficient. What if I told you that even on an anonymous blog, the community that exists is enough to cause some to self-censor?

If anonymous blogging is already writing for the drawer and this blog is a space for my most personal and difficult thoughts, then where do I write down the things that I can’t even say here? One solution is personal friendships. I have a friend that frequently sends me emails with pieces of writing and a subject line like, “I can’t blog this”. Sometimes he is correct. For social reasons or political ones or just “good taste”, he really can’t. Sometimes I convince him that he is wrong because I know his subject line is a challenge to both of us, of course he “can” blog it, but will he?

Me? I don’t even commit these dirtiest of thoughts to words in a publishable way. I may talk about them with friends or even allude to them on Twitter but the simple act of stringing words into sentences and sentences into paragraphs seems very risky and final to me. If I write and I don’t publish, I am admitting that the thoughts are unpublishable. And if I don’t publish the unpublishable, what am I doing here?

So, my challenge to myself and to every other reader, writer, and sexual being out there is to think about those controversial thoughts. The ones that are too provocative, too infuriating, too risky for even your anonymous self. If you’re brave, you’ll share them in the comments, if you’re braver you’ll commit it to posterity in some way.

I’ll be writing a series of posts that reveal these thoughts and ideas. They won’t be comfortable and they won’t be nice but they aren’t written in the spirit of burning bridges but rather in the hope of forging difficult and painful connections through honesty.

Almost anyone that is into BDSM and sensation play has seen one of these spiky metal toys before but the rest of you may be a bit confused by it. Allow me to introduce you to the Wartenberg Wheel, a compact and versatile addition to your toy bag.

This pinwheel is stainless steel and has a spinning head with small needles radiating out from it. You can use it in a variety of ways depending on your partner and your own sadistic streak. Changing the amount of pressure exerted and the location of the wheel allows for drastic changes in sensation.

Jay and I tried it out on each other and played with pressure. It can range from tickly to downright ouchy and allows for a lot of fun sensations in-between. This toy can be a fun addition to a sensual massage, a bondage session, or it can be fun to sneak into oral sex. Try getting your partner close to climax and then firmly sliding this pinwheel up his or her thigh.

Many of my friends and acquaintances in New York are launching a new project, The NYC Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar.

This project benefits Audacia Ray’s Sex Work Awareness Project, a very worthy cause. The people included are some of NYC’s best sex-positive writers, educators, and film makers and the calendar promises to be something special. Who are the models?

• Audacia Ray
• Desiree
• Diva
• Elizabeth Wood
• Jamye Waxman
• Lux Alptraum
• Mariella
• Rachel Kramer Bussel
• Riese
• Sinclair Sexsmith
• Tess Danesi
• Twanna A Hines

So, take a look at the project and consider ordering a calendar or a specially inscribed calendar day!

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #147? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Nipple clamps, butt plug, Hitachi – oh my!
“Once the plug is in, I’m going to send you on a little walk.”

I discover transcendental orgasm
“It was peaceful, and like holding on to a live wire at the same time.”

When We Were Kids: Thoughts on BDSM
“The tying was always my favourite part, whether I was the one tied who had to escape, or the one who got to do the tying.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Like a Prayer – Part 2

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

It has been a little quiet here lately so I thought I would let everyone know the other things I have been up to both on and offline.

Top 100 Sexy Bloggers of 2008 – I was honored to be named #5 on this amazing list of blogs compiled by Rori. I was stunned by the remarkable company I shared on this list and if you are just getting into sex blogs, I highly suggest checking out the entire list. The top 20 bloggers are as follows:

1. Sinclair Sexsmith http://sugarbutch.net
2. Radical Vixen http://www.radicalvixen.com
3. Curvaceous Dee http://curvaceousdee.blogspot.com
4. Always Aroused Girl http://aagblog.com
5. Ellie Lumpesse www.lumpesse.com
6. Catalina http://catalinaloves.com
7. Selena Kitt http://selenakittyn.com
8-9. Wifey and Hubby http://wifeytalk.com
10. Roger http://wwww.dirtyboy2.blogspot.com
11. Essin’ Em http://essin-em.com
12. Amber Rhea http://www.beingamberrhea.com
13-14. Richard and Amy http://247richardandamy.com
15-16. MJ and MJ’s Slave http://www.aslavestruenature.blogspot.com
17. Thursday’s Child http://thursdayschildhasfartogo.blogspot.com
18. Narration by D http://narrationbyd.blogspot.com
19. Andrea Zanin http://www.sexgeek.wordpress.com
20. The Provocateur http://theprovocateur.wordpress.com

The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything – I have been asked by the lovely Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek to contribute to this wonderful group blog about femme identity. My most recent post there is about the first time I was properly kissed. I was 18 and it was with one of my closest girlfriends. Here is an excerpt:

So there we were. December in Milwaukee and the car is idling and I am shaking like a leaf. She said lots of things in the intervening moments. About how I didn’t have to and she wasn’t trying to presure me. I think she needed me to express desire but all I could muster was terror.

Then she took my hand. She started slowly caressing my palm with her fingertips and nails. Rubbing my flesh in hers like a piece of clay. I was silent except for my tiny gasps for breath. I tried to focus all of the terror into my hand and let Sarah take it away, mash it in her soft fingers until it was nothing.

You might want to read the rest of “My First (Proper) Kiss” and check out the rest of Femme’s Guide while you’re at it. In fact, why not subscribe to the RSS feed so you won’t miss a thing?

Best Sex Bloggers – This fabulous group blog, started by Catalina, features amazing bloggers, podcasters, and photographers with both re-posted and original material. I have been contributing regularly over there and will be editing some collaborative writing projects amongst the bloggers. The site is new and already creating a buzz, I’m so pleased to be part of it. Why should you read? You’ll learn about new bloggers, find great things to read, and you might even win fabulous sex toys in a contest. You can subscribe to the RSS feed to keep up with everything that happens there.

Live Girl Review – Some of the toy reviews that appear on this blog also appear at Live Girl Review. This blog and podcast is produced by the multi-talented Audacia Ray. I’m constantly in awe of her and was thrilled when I was allowed to contribute to this project along with many talented sex writers. Fancy the RSS feed for the blog posts and podcast?

Junkbuzzed – Back in the spring a helped launch a sex and humor blog. I started linking to it here but I never really announced my involvement officially. While I haven’t been a big part of Junkbuzzed recently, I’m trying to post there more regularly again. The editor there is The Snarling Misanthrope (known around these parts as Marc) and he is one of the most talented satire writers I have ever read much less had the opportunity to work with. My most recent post there was a humorous take on my needle play experience titled, “Suburban Ennui Leads to Needle Play.” But really, I am not the main attraction at this blog and that is a good thing. I could not pen hilarity like an advice column called “Ask a Gor Master” or an epic sex toy review that involves a vat of lube and Star Wars collectibles. If you don’t listen to me any other time in your life, listen now and subscribe to Junkbuzzed.

Of course there is no way that I need to tell you about my podcast, Bedroom Radio? You can add that feed directly to the podcatcher of your choice so it will show up on your computer and mp3 player as soon as a new episode appears. Upcoming episodes will include Always Aroused Girl, Bliss Warrior, and Regina Lynn. There are also always great little goodies like erotica readings, sexy music, or sex toy reviews. You know how I review toys right? Well, lets just say it is more of a demonstration than a mere review.

For the complete stalking experience, you can also find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and MySpace.

The more of this I type the less of a life it seems that I have.

***

But, I actually do have a life outside of my home and it will be taking me to a few amazing kink events in the next month.

Dark Odyssey Summer Camp – In a few days, Jay and I will be leaving for Dark Odyssey Summer Camp. If you have heard of this event, you know exactly why I am so excited. If you haven’t, Viviane has been kind enough to round up the posts from previous years that she went to camp. We’ll be staying with some amazing people there and I expect to have a lot of phenomenal stories to share.

Fetish Fair Flea Market – I am thrilled that I was invited to present at this regional kink event. My presentation will be on “Kinky Phone Sex For Couples” and will involve some fun, sexy demonstrations and practice opportunities. There are some great play parties also scheduled for this event and a whole host of amazing speakers.

***

Are you still reading? Well, want to see something way hotter than what I’ve listed above? My darling, wonderful friend Thursday wrote this gorgeous fantasy about me. A snippet:

Later, she lays on top of me, pressed thigh to thigh, hip to hip. The buzzing head of the Hitachi rests between us, right on the curve of our clefts, and as we grind against each other, I have all but forgotten the presence of the men, so lost am I in the soft perfume of her skin.

So, you might want to read the rest of that, huh? I really want to meet this woman soon and re-enact this dream.

[Image via Helene Black]