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Download Episode #14 of Bedroom Radio

Holy Cow! It is a new episode of Bedroom Radio!
Wherein I:
Talk about the sexy sexy parts of Sex 2.0
Play a great song by the Magnetic Fields (lyrics)
Get a serious spanking

Our websites:
Bedroom Radio - bedroomradio.blogspot.com
Ellie’s Blog - www.lumpesse.com
Ellie’s Twitter - www.twitter.com/ellie_lumpesse
Jay’s Blog - eternalapprentice.blogsome.com

Questions, comments, cock shots? lumpesse (at) gmail.com

People and things mentioned in the show:
Amber Rhea
Melissa Gira
Sex 2.0
Regina Lynn
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Kimberlee Cline
Cunning Minx
Sakura Sarashi
Mistress Maeve
Viviane
Furry Girl
Match

In which Ellie apologizes a little bit and then makes up for her absence with a really hot story.

Download it now.

I’ve been involved with college radio for 6 years and while the trademark of college radio is “dead air. . . um. . . dead air.” I’d like to think that I’ve still learned a little something about broadcast in that time. I don’t write this list because I think I’m doing things perfectly but because I’ve heard a lot of self-congratulatory and boring podcasts. So I’ve laid out the differences and similarities in podcasting and radio with some helpful tips that the old guard can share with the new.

Why disc jokeys have it easier than podcasters:

Captive Audience. The morning shock jock can piss people off and they will keep listening because of a lack of alternative choices. Podcast listeners do not need to be so forgiving. Unless you have carved out a niche incredibly well and have a huge market for what you are doing, your listeners are pretty mobile. Think of them like the friends that came to see your crappy college band (the theramin was a mistake) play at the student union when you were 19 - you can’t go all rock star on them. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to censor yourself from expressing controversial opinions. It means you need to censor yourself from sounding like a jackass.

Decent audio equipment. Only the most serious podcasters bother to invest in a fraction of the equipment that is available to radio DJs. That said, the best thing you can invest in is a halfway decent microphone perhaps tied with decent audio editing software. I’ve been doing my podcast without either (which explains why it isn’t good).

Legitimacy. It isn’t easy to get an FCC license. There is a certain assumption from listeners that if you are on the radio, you have some honest claim at being there (listeners assume wrong, of course, but this is about perception). Not so with podcasting. It is pretty painfully obvious that anyone with a microphone and some bandwidth can start a podcast. When the burden of proof is on you, you’ll have to do something special to keep your listeners. You’ll have to do something even more special to get high profile interviews.

Why podcasters have it easier than disc jokeys:

Fuck the FCC. FCC guidelines on obscene and indecent material go beyond the “7 Dirty Words” and cover all sorts of fun things that a radio DJ might want to talk about, notably sex. Podcasters don’t have to pay a damn bit of attention to this. And they aren’t!

Niche markets. Podcasts will come and go with the fads that inspire them. Some of the more popular ones deal with very narrow interests. The eBay lesson is being repeated time and time again on the internet and podcasting is the lastest instance of it. You got some shit, someone else wants that shit. Attract a wider audience by making sure that your shit isn’t shitty. Although, there still isn’t a coprophagia podcast that I’m aware of. . .

Personality. Being an internet star is all about a cult of personality (Hi, Mom!). Podcasters can gather devoted minions through their personality in a way that even the most devoted jocks can’t. There is an intimacy that is available in podcasting that can’t (and maybe needn’t be) reached in radio. That said, meglomania isn’t sexy and the best podcasters come off as gracious, confident, and calm. Steer clear of self-important diatribes and remember that no matter how many hits you get, you’re not going to be a household name anytime soon.

Editing. Podcasting isn’t live and that is a blessing. Podcasters get to write scripts, record and re-record, and edit their shows into slick packages. Beware of making it too slick or fretting over tiny mistakes. Treasure the natural cadences of human speech. But still become familiar with a decent audio editor. You don’t have to be going for professionalism to be concerned with quality.

Things I tell brand-new DJs that many podcasters could stand to learn:

Monitor your broadcast. Get some headphones and wear them while you record. This ensures that levels are constant and gives you a chance to hear what the mic is picking up instead of what your voice sounds like in your bedroom. The number one way that DJs I supervise make on-air bloopers is by failing to wear headphones, you’ve been warned.

Beware the co-host. The banter between two clever, intelligent people can be very charming and rivetting, especially for those two people. But, make sure you take a constant inventory of your conversations with a co-host. Is this a conversation that others want to overhear? Are you really that funny? Are your inside jokes going to fly for a listener that doesn’t know you? When I was Station Manager I actively discouraged co-hosting among new DJs because doing it well is so challenging.

Make a pop filter. I’m not an audio engineer nor am I a perfectionist. However, if you have trouble with your plosive consonants, grab an old pair of pantyhose and after you finish sniffing them, you can craft them into a neat home-made filter.

Don’t beg for attention. Until I started listening to podcasts, I thought 18-year-old DJs were the worst attention whores in the world. However, hearing people from all walks of life beg for emails, phone calls, votes, and frapprs has changed my opinion. Podcasters are more attention-starved than drag queens. And it is understandable. There is nothing wrong with wanting feedback on something you work hard on but please limit it to a few simple words, not the extended spastic whine-fest that many podcasters engage in.

If you are starting a podcast because you always wanted to be a DJ, I welcome you to the fold. Rest assured that podcasting is 10 times nicer than DJing but also much harder work. Enjoy your global audience and freedom. However, avoid slipping between the cracks and becoming more background noise. There a many more bad podcasts out there than good and the independently produced ones that are excellent are even more rare. Rise to the top by asking questions before you guess wrong and going in with a real plan. Or record yourself having orgasms, then you can break all of the rules.

Download Bedroom Radio #12 - Splish Splash (15MB/ 15minutes)

Join me in the hot tub for some fun with my special guest, J.

I wish I’d had this book with me at the hotel. . .

Questions, Comments, Naked Pictures - bedroomradio@gmail.com or 206-339-7357

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Read on for more photos.
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Download Bedroom Radio #11 (28MB Video)

This past Memorial Day was one of the best days I’ve had all summer. J and I woke up, processed the fact that we were completely broke and endeavored to find a way to have an awesome day anyway. We scrounged up various cash and change from around the house, put a tank of gas in the car and drove to the beach. We packed a cooler and a pair of books to read. The beach is in the same city that my best friend from undergrad lives in. I hadn’t talked to her in over a year because she stopped returning my phone calls one day (and each of the subsequent days after that.) As we were arriving on the coast, I decided to call her on a whim and actually got through. I almost cried when I heard her voice. We decided to meet up after J and I were through at the beach. With this exciting and cheerful turn of events in mind, we trudged through the sand and found a gorgeous spot.

After a quick dip we enjoyed a pleasant lunch and poked around making sand castles for awhile. On a similar whim, I decided to make a quick home movie and then decided to record Bedroom Radio 11 with my digital camera. When I got home I didn’t like it and never posted it. Today I changed my mind. I know the video is horrible and that the mic is picking up tons of wind. If you’re not sure about downloading it, you’ve been warned.

After my quick and dirty podcasting, we went back in the water and had equally quick and dirty sex.

I’m realizing that there is something about being outdoors and feeling comfortable that is very erotic for me. I guess it comes as no shock that I am an exhibitionist but I never imagined myself to get such a rush from public sex. It didn’t hurt that as we swam, J was running his hands all over my body and holding me close to him. Before I knew it kisses had turned to gropes and my breasts had been let free from my swimsuit top. I pressed closer to him, knowing that he could feel my hard nipples against his chest.

J grabbed my ass, pulling my hips towards him and I wrapped my legs around his torso as he slid his a few fingers into my swimsuit bottoms. I could feel how hard he was against me and how slippery our bodies were in the water. He shuddered when his fingers found my slit and groaned appreciation for my wetness. I was soon begging him to fuck me.

A lot of people have told me that sex in the water is terrible, never as good as one expects it to be. Those people must have been doing something wrong because I couldn’t have enjoyed it more. Feeling the waves gently rock us and assist our thrusting, the cool water on my naked body, the sensation of near weighlessness in the water. I was rendered nearly speechless and came in a matter of minutes. My orgasm washed over my gently - I rested my head against J’s chest, nibbling on his neck and tasting the salty water on my lips. I felt invigorated and satiated all at once.

It seems like a good time to plan another trip to the beach.

I’ve been so busy car shopping the past few days that I completely forgot to announce that I will be doing a radio interview about my podcast, Bedroom Radio, tomorrow. At 2:00PM EST, I’ll be doing a live phone interview on WNYC 93.9 FM in New York during their Soundcheck music talk show. The theme of the show is podcasting and I’ve been asked to represent the sex and music angle. I’m pretty excited and hope that you’ll get a chance to tune in. If you’re in New York, tune your radio (the radio is that thing you hear in your car before the iPod takes over) to 93.9 FM. If you’re anywhere else in the world (and near an internet connection) you can listen to the webstream. WNYC also podcasts their shows, so I’ll be sure to post a link when the archive is available.

Here is a link to the specific episode notes!

Download the Bedroom Radio Quickie #2 or Subscribe!

As you might already know, Quickie episodes appear when I have something to share but not a lot of time to share it in. Enjoy this very brief holiday show and I’ll be back in full force very soon.

Music
The Smittens - “Good Migrations”

Listen to
Podnography - Episode #17

Contest
Tell me the most interesting place you’ve ever listened to Bedroom Radio. The submissions so far are awesome and you have one more week to get entries to me. Call or email an mp3 with your entry.

Comments? Questions? Adoration? Naked pictures?
Email - bedroomradio AT gmail.com
Phone - 206-339-7357
Website - BedroomRadio.com
Blog - Lumpesse.com

Where have I been, dear readers? Well, I got my tongue pierced on Thursday so I’ve been sort of under the weather while I wait for the swelling to go down (at which time I’ll take a picture, natch). Podcasting has been out of the question but I expect to catch up with that soon. I’ve got a list of short tidbits, though, and it goes a little something like this:

* I just discovered Balthazar B, Man of His Words. This man seems quite brilliant and sexy and wonderful and not updating for the past few weeks. I hope he comes back because finding a hot new blog that is already a dead old blog is so depressing. . .

* A bit of a dialogue has formed between Melissa Gira (aka, Sexiest Podcaster in the World) and I on this question of “fake women.” Touch My Blog has stepped into the discussion with this post. And while not directly related, I think that the Female Mysogynist is weighing in on the issue as well when she writes today about the “anti-feminine feminist bitch”.

* I’ve been desperately searching for Chanukah porn and the best I have been able to find (despite the hysterics of this article) is at the Yarmulkebra Website. Looks like I’ll be making my own, I can’t believe no one has tried to serve this market before!