As to Amber’s two comments, my analogy, while perhaps inaccurate, does NOT support those who are against ALT lifestyles, whether gay, poly, BDSM, etc. because as Ellie points out, those involve consent. My displeasure is with those bloggers who shout down anyone pointing out the hypocrisy of certain bloggers. While anyone is free to say “it’s my blog, I’ll write what I want,” putting it up for all to read means accepting the judgments (pro and con) and criticisms of those who read it. I have been judged by the Right for advocating non-monogamy, so I know about getting flak.

This is what gets me too. The “just being honest” thing pisses me off a great deal anyway (I mean shit, wasn’t Tom Paine just being honest, ffs?!). I admit I wouldn’t have gone wading in so strong if it hadn’t have been for that nasty “you’re just jealous” thing, but I still meant what I said. That said, what Amber says – “I also don?t buy the ?it?s on the internet, therefore open for public critique? line.” I can’t disagree with that (as I say I was being especially vicious cos, well, TP and C are two of my closest mates and obviously I can’t have such things said!). I do think everything is open to criticism, but there are ‘rules’. Like big bloggers shouldn’t pick on little bloggers, for example. And simple etiquette – if someone’s writing something that’s obviously painful or whatever it’s bad form to go in with the insults.

Plus I like what you said about the poly / cheating thing. I think you were spot on.

Ellie, i wonder if you might elaborate on those feelings?

Love the new theme : )

The thing is that we do get to tell others how to live their lives on a daily basis. Down to the most minute and inconsequential social and etiquette-driven interactions, we do this all the time. What others get to do is ignore our ideas about how they should run their lives.

I completely see where you are coming from. It is a gut reaction to what seems like a judgmental statement. For me, though, life is about judgments. In fact all we have is a series of them from the day we are born until we die. It is what we do with those judgments and how we process them that is important.

I think it’s certainly reasonable (if not always easy) to really know that you’re lucky, blessed, in a good place while still honoring that it comes with difficult work, hard to manage emotional responses, etc. I don’t think any sort of good place in life is a reason to dismiss those very real responses. That’s like people asking why you’re complaining when other people have bigger problems. Yeah, bigger problems are worse, but the ones I have are mine.

I can appreciate his sentiment, but he loses me with this:

A rapist blogger, no matter how good his prose, would likely generate outrage among the same bloggers taking me to task for being “judgemental.” Same with pedophilia. So is it different to hold another blogger to standards of morality or decency?

Sorry, but that’s the same line of reasoning anti-gay folks use. We wouldn’t approve of rape, pedophilia, or bestiality, so why homosexuality! Uh, maybe because, out of those four, only ONE involves CONSENT??

I also don’t buy the “it’s on the internet, therefore open for public critique” line. I think that’s far too simplistic. People have a variety of reasons for putting their writing on the internet, and while it’s true that unless your blog is password protected (and really not even then) you can’t control who reads it, different types of behavior/discussion are appropriate for different types of blogs. a blog about national politics is not the same thing as a blog about an individual’s struggle with cancer, for an extreme example.

Hope that made sense.