Very spankable tushy courtesy of Retro Raunch

I’ve been thinking a lot about kink lately. I’ve spent many a happy moment in the last week with my ass in the air receiving lovely swats at it from Jay. And that feels good, I like the pain and the sting. I like the noise and the opportunity to cry out. I love the way that my ass wiggles with each thwack and I can feel the sensation travel through me, jostling my body and making me wetter.

Then I get philosophical, does this make me a masochist? Am I just enduring the sensation for the thrill of the accomplishment? Or perhaps just because it translates to the tingling arousal that washes over me. When we distill it all down to sensations, what is so different about a loving caress and a hard, firm smack? If they accomplish the same thing and make me feel the same way are they any different?

Most people would lean towards one of two answers for this quandary. The first response would be that being bent over and spanked is an act of submission. Even if I’m not tied up or calling him Master or any of the other trappings that might come with it. Certainly I see this argument, the position is vulnerable and helpless. While there isn’t punishment going on, I feel controlled perhaps by the pain or maybe by the pleasure. But I am under a spell in those moments. The problem here is that all pleasure is submission by this regard. And if staring at my ass and whacking it hard is a sensation that Jay enjoys (he does!) then who is really submitting? We are both giving ourselves over to pleasure, both enjoying the activity, neither truly passive or wholly active.

So, if I am not being submissive in this moment, perhaps I am being humiliated in some way. Indeed, spanking brings people back to childhood, to memories of punishment and shame. Enjoying spanking is a conflicted lot, and produces strong taboos and triggers for many people. But what if I don’t feel this shame? What if my childhood spankings take no hold on me when I am, joyously, waiting for each thud on my rear?

Again, that leaves us with sensation. Each nerve acting in turn sending signals of pleasure and pain to the brain. Sometimes twisting along the way. The sound emits from the meeting of skin on skin and the ragged protests and gutteral moans and sharp cries that come out of my body. Can it be transcendent if I am not submitting, if I am not humiliated? If we are just two equals sharing pleasure and pain and the shock of something wholly different and unexpected?

I think I am pretty happy realizing that this might not be about dominance and submission at all. Or at least it doesn’t have to be. Those of you that are happy spankers and spankees, share your ideas with me on this!