Welcome back!

As I was reading Sofie Shaw’s piece in Peeq today, I realized that I’ve heard this story before. From what I read on the internet sometimes, it seems that I’m the only person having successful threesomes. Every hip magazine or weblog by jaded city dwellers tells us, adamantly, that it isn’t really that fun and then the writer shares a personal story about a mortifying threesome.

Listen, I know that some threesomes are mortifying. And I’ve had a few that were on the awkward end of the spectrum. But it is possible to fuck your young, hip friends en masse and have fun memories of it.

Ellie’s Tips for A Successful Threesome

1. Contrary to popular belief, MMF threesomes can be fantastically fun without either of the guys being bisexual. My first threesome was a situation like this and while it takes a bit of multitasking on the part of the woman, it is doable. But, you have to talk to your partners ahead of time and figure out what people are cool with. This doesn’t have to be done in a health class “what are your limits” sort of way. Just talk dirty with people and figure out where things might go.

2. Don’t be drunk. Most of the shitty threesomes I read about are someone’s drunken idea. I will admit that I’ve had group sex while intoxicated but the idea and plan was usually there in advance. This is key. Be sober when you decide to have group sex and if you need a bit of social lubrication to get things moving, that is the time to partake, modestly.

3. Don’t expect the stars and moon. I didn’t even come during my first several group sex experiences. Especially when you are in a committed relationship, it can be hard to get there with something new going on. Personally, I don’t measure the quality of sex by orgasms so I still think that those experiences were incredibly hot. They were just different than some one-on-one sex that I’ve had. The pacing is completely different and that can throw some people off, or you can just go with it and enjoy.

4. Fuck people not experiences. I think that if you go into group sex for the sake of checking a fantasy off your list, you might be unhappy with the outcome. I spent a lot of time on shitty adult dating sites trying to find people for group sex. And they were slimy and lame. When my endeavor turned into fucking people that I want to fuck, suddenly I started having more fun. I slept with a hot grad student, a few bloggers, and several friends that I’ve always been attracted to. On a related note, fuck the people around you. You’d be surprised who is up for “swinging” when you start being honest about your proclivities with your friends.

I’d love to hear from other people with successful group sex experience. Stand up, be proud, and repeat after me “I’m young, I’m hip, and I’ve had fun while having a threesome!”