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I’ve really only hinted at this here before but over the past several months I have had a growing interest in BDSM. I have always been basically sexually submissive and the first time that C pinned my hands over my head during sex, I got an amazing rush. Since that time he and I have been experimenting with various things. We started off with him tying up my wrists with a scarf or blindfolding me in a similar manner. During these exchanges, he was never rough with me but I enjoyed being bound. Back in June I was spanked for the first time. Shortly after this, I got a set of restraints and we have used them a few times to tie me down to the bed. Throughout it all, C has been fairly indifferent to these events. He enjoys pleasing me but hasn’t gotten any inate enjoyment from being dominant.

A few months ago, I thought we had reached a breakthrough of sorts. He was getting more spontaneous with the rough stuff and even seemed to be enjoying himself. I never wanted elaborate “scenes” but I did want him to take things into his own hands. It had been going pretty well when we had a conversation on my birthday – now I just sort of feel like a jerk.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a great birthday. C took me out for this gorgeous dinner and afterwards we went down to our favorite tea shop and I got a birthday bubble tea. I wore thigh-high stockings and was having a fun time letting him peek at the tops of them by sliding up the hem of my skirt. On the way home I playfully reminded him that I expected a birthday spanking. He made a little face before smiling and saying “okay”.

I would say that it was a mistake to have prodded him, but I’m glad that we had the conversation, even though I was disappointed in what I found out. All of these details come tumbling out about how he really doesn’t like being rough with me, it does nothing for him sexually, and he is uncomfortable with it in anything except the smallest doses. Here we’ve been for months and I’ve been convinced he is getting more comfortable with things when actually he is barely keeping up with me. The conversation ended with him saying that he would just have to get used to the idea of someone else dominating me. I felt like a complete monster – as if I had been forcing this person I love to do something against his nature.

But C is so wonderful, he detected that I was upset and didn’t let it put a damper on the evening. When we got home he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. He very slowly began kissing me and undressing me as I stood before him, I left my hands at my sides and closed my eyes while he caressed and teased me for ages. He layed me down in the bed and continued to make me squirm. He began working his lips down my body and teasing my pussy. His mouth is so wonderful and he has this charming habit where he usually doesn’t let me come just once. However, on this occasion he gave me a big surprise. After my first orgasm he lifted his head, sat up and motioned for me to lay down across his knees – when I balked and protested that he didn’t really want to he shushed me and insisted that I had to have my birthday spanking, one for each year.

He didn’t go easy on me either, the first strike startled me with its force and made me squeel. I immediately felt my pussy get wetter and ground against his knee. Somewhere along the way I lost control of myself, the sensations were so wonderful and his hand felt so strong alternately smacking and kneeding my ass. It ended too quickly but I was grateful as I was insane with desire and wanted nothing more than to feel his hard cock inside me finally. As I scrambled onto my feet and pushed him on his back, he smiled at me and said, “I do like watching your ass wiggling in my lap – I think I can do that every once and awhile.” I just smiled and kissed him as I positioned myself over his cock.

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