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My boyfriend recently told me that I am allowed to make out with whoever I want. I took this news with a great deal of excitement and an eye towards the future. I would parlay my newly found sexual confidence into a very sophisticated and urban form of make-out sluttery. I would lock lips with anyone that I thought was attractive and enjoy the sheer simplicity of just kissing. This would all expand my horizons greatly and take me on my path to becoming an ethical slut.

My boyfriend said this to me almost two months ago.

I haven’t kissed anyone.

Now, this isn’t for a lack of desire. I have had my smooch radar honed on several desirable kissees. I’m doing all the right things, too. Like spending time in the presence of the people I want to kiss and brushing my teeth. Somehow this doesn’t seem to be enough. I think I am missing a piece of the puzzle.

In reality, I know exactly what the problem is. Everyone I know, knows I have a boyfriend. And everyone I know is basically anyone worth kissing in this ridiculously small city. I really can’t wait for someone else to kiss me, it isn’t going to happen. Unfortunately, I have a ridiculously high fear of rejection.

So, fair reader, how do you get up the nerve to lock lips? Please don’t say alcohol. . .

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